Hemangiosarcoma. Please I beg of all of you that have dogs above 50lbs to take them to the vet and have the preliminary testing done. It is "THE" silent killer. These pictures of him on the couch and ... View MoreHemangiosarcoma. Please I beg of all of you that have dogs above 50lbs to take them to the vet and have the preliminary testing done. It is "THE" silent killer. These pictures of him on the couch and playing with his new toy I got that day were taken around 12:30pm. The picture in the car was taken at 3pm as we were rushing him to Emergency surgery. The picture of him laying on the floor was taken around 9pm when the DR said just take him home and enjoy your time with him. His name is Tank I've him for roughly 11 years. Some of you know of him. He brings so much light into everyone's day. I routinely take him to the vet. If you don't test for it you'll never know. I watched him play with his new toy. Then unbeknownst to be he had a tumor and it ruptured. He then had a seizure. He was being so brave for me. No surgery will save him no chemo. I took some pills today to cope with the inevitable. I'm watching my child/family member/guardian/protector/best friend die. He's on medicine so he can be comfortable. I know I have to stay strong for him. He licked my tears off my face last night,still trying to be my Guardian. He's in bed resting with my best friend. I got up and went into the living room to cry and not disturb him while I write this. I spoke with some of my really close friends that have known him for years and they both are scared for me because they know or fear how I'll react in regards to me losing my shit and going off the deep end. I didn't have the ability to lie to them and say I'll be fine because they know the truth. I won't be.I took a leave of absence from work. Don't care. I'm going to be staying with my friend (so she can keep me semi curtailed) She loves him so much as well. Tank is like her child as well. He keeps us both relatively in line. I've dealt with the loss of life before. Some of my friends have pictures of him hanging up in their home, that's the way he touches people. In my friend group that's the impact he has. The random people that have met him especially the children and elderly love him. I don't really have much more to say other than how I started this post about what is going to kill him. I know this might sound foolish to some,he kept me from killing myself a few times. The way he looked at me in 2019 when I planned to pull the trigger stopped me. Seeing your dog cry while you loaded your gun for the final time and wrote a letter for each person, snapped me out of it. The fear of not knowing what'll happen for sure to him made me realize what the fuck I was doing. When I stopped shooting up in late 2020 praying death would come that way. I even went as far as making a plan with my friend to take him "if" something happened to me. Tank Noor and the Mushrooms really snapped me out of that hole I was in. I was able to cover up to the world what was going on internally at that time. Now to have my life 4 years later spiraling bringing me back to hopelessness deep down while trying to keep it together is a place I thought I'd never be again. I feel the ultimate case of the "fuck it's" flowing. Thankfully I have and welcomed support where as before I ignored it selfishly. I'll close for now with this. Hug and kiss your dog take them for a walk because you don't know. When you give them a hug please tell them Tank said hi.
Pie crust melmac… 2.8 in a tea…. Woooooow. Beautiful straight out the box. Only love. No negativity, no nausea, just pure bliss ❤️
Habitformer
I'm so pissed I tried to write up what is going on in my life and the app crashed. I was probably 7 paragraphs in....Sorry I'll make this short. If anyone has questions I'll reply. Yesterday I had cou... View MoreI'm so pissed I tried to write up what is going on in my life and the app crashed. I was probably 7 paragraphs in....Sorry I'll make this short. If anyone has questions I'll reply. Yesterday I had court for my trial. It wasn't criminal it was civil. Specifically it was remedial contempt which was going to result in jail. A civil lawsuit was brought against me. It is a lie. It pertains to an event that took place in 2018. Money was paid in 2020-2021. I was lied to and manipulated. My best friend for over a decade was lied to and essentially pitted against me. I slowly as to not make it obvious that I knew, starting withdrawing from here. My stalker has an account on here. (Potentially) Which she from what I understand used or used to get information regarding me. I won't say the name publicly but if anyone wants to know I'll share privately. I don't want anyone else getting caught up. My civil case was dismissed twice by the judge because it's all a lie. My attorney and I proved the evidence regarding the money. She and her attorney finally found a judge to bite on her shit and sued me again this time I've been in a fight. The new judge decided to not accept my evidence for whatever reason. (He said it wasn't filed correctly) Anyway in preparation for what we ALL thought was jail was forced to get rid of my home my vehicle my belongings. I basically gave away my belongings to those who needed them. I went to trial yesterday.The same judge for whatever reason ( I prayed right before) decides to acknowledge the evidence part, actually apologizes for the hold up/delay said it was his fault then ends the trail. (Civil law is so odd to me) The judge then says The case is basically over. My attorney filed an appeal last year because the same judge ruled in favor. (The evidence he wouldn't accept) We had been waiting on the appeal. The contempt trial was because I didn't pay the amount. We were waiting on the appeal that's why. No appeal came so I had this trail. Anyway the judge basically was blocking the appeal in a very sketchy way. He was for a lack of better words blocking the appeal on his end by not sending the appellate court the info they needed. So convoluted. Magically he had a change of heart.. Why I don't know. Well I sort of do,I can explain that later. One of the judges comments was "I'm kicking the can down the road to the appeals judge so he can rule on my ruling" basically saying he knows the appellate court judge will dismiss this. There's so much more I want to say regarding this but I just don't want to type it out and the app crash again. My best friend and I got pitted against each other. We were both lied to for years. The person is my ex-wife. Who I divorced in 2019. She still stalks me and tries to ingratiate herself into people that I know and hope so finding out stuff about me. She found out where I lived and while I was recovering from my surgery that I had in April would show up to the private community that I live in and would go to my neighbor's doors thinking it was me. They actually had to call the police and have her removed. I never saw any of it because I was out of town recovering from my surgery. She even showed up to my past employer trying to find out about me. again, she's potentially on here looking to cause more trouble for me. I try to keep my life private to some things but I feel it important to share. My apologies to those who have reached out to me and I haven't gotten back to them. I just have been withdrawn. I'm actually semi nervous what her next move will be because the writing is on the way regarding my civil case and it being thrown again! Before my hearing ended yesterday one of the things that really stood out to me and my attorney was what the judge said,he said even if the civil lawsuit is dismissed she will find another way to come after me again.. I mean WTF! I try to have good energy in my life. Remove the bad.. How do you prevent the negative energy from creeping in when it's from someone else? Well that's my situation I've been dealing with. I really wish I didn't have to rewrite this and shorten it. Oh well. This is the best I can do for now.
I have something I plan on sharing hopefully later today or tomorrow. I've been consumed by it. It's really been weighing on every fiber of my being. It's a situation I've kept extremely silent on. So... View MoreI have something I plan on sharing hopefully later today or tomorrow. I've been consumed by it. It's really been weighing on every fiber of my being. It's a situation I've kept extremely silent on. Sorry for being vague. I guess it's how I work things out. On a side note thank you all for being in my life.
This is friend
mynameisnotkat her and her hubby are dope ass people. I can't wait to see her post pictures of what she's working on.
This doesn't just apply to veterans but in this case I'm speaking from prior experience as well as what just happened.Please check up on people. When you ask someone how they are doing and they say "a... View MoreThis doesn't just apply to veterans but in this case I'm speaking from prior experience as well as what just happened.Please check up on people. When you ask someone how they are doing and they say "alright" they are lying especially veterans. I myself am guilty of this. One of my buddies I served with committed suicide last night. We last talked on Friday. We made plans for him myself and 2 other guys (we all served together) to get together the 2nd week of January and do some hunting in Alaska. The 4 of us have been treating our past trauma with psychedelics. We all agree that they have been helping. His wife called me Today to tell me his son found his father my friend my brother and hero to me John on a piece of land they own and we hunt on. I can't tell you how many times we've staged out of that shed/building thing when we go out. We've celebrated in it as well as bitched about not seeing anything after being out for 18 hours. Him and I got shit faced drunk in that building and I cried while he listened to me talk about going through my divorce. He was such a kind human being. I remember the 4 of us talking about what the birth of our 1st child meant to us. I keep my circles small because of how I feel like I don't belong. He was who grounded my group when we needed it. What makes me so fucking irate is that his wife told me he went to the VA for his appointment to meet with his Doctor and they rescheduled it for 3 months out. 3 fucking months. He just wanted to talk. Please answer the phone if someone calls/texts you even if it's late. When we last talked he told me he was feeling "alright" but he typically feels better after his appointments. I called one of our friends in the group last night because John wasn't on to play video games with us(we play routinely,the wives hate it but understand) Mike told me John didn't answer when he called earlier that day. We all know why. Please "alright" or even "Okay" is a call for help. The world lost a beautiful human,his family lost their world, 2 children lost their father, a wife lost her husband, I lost a friend,a brother. We all have someone in our lives that we know needs a call, please make it.
I think the majority of us can relate. There's no way I could play CS.
Melmac will always be my number one favorite fruit to work on! The experiences I have had taking them have really humbled me, in fact it made it easier for me to move on from my Grandfathers passing t... View MoreMelmac will always be my number one favorite fruit to work on! The experiences I have had taking them have really humbled me, in fact it made it easier for me to move on from my Grandfathers passing to taking multiple initiatives and living in the present time. However, being a very strong variety I’m definitely going to consider making capsules for easy dosing. A micro dose of Mel in reality is a fun light dose and once you hit 1g or more it gets very intense! Doing 1g in Lemon Tek made the experience intense with the blunt I had after blasting my senses off to the whole world and feeling the sun beaming down on me in a neonic world! Goes to show you how strong this epic fruit is! Everyone in my mind has to have this fruit in their stash, it really is that impacting. Habitformer Innervison thank you both and many others for getting me onto this fruit! It really is one of the most purest mushroom experience one can have! Lastly I’m amazed how just a T1 is ready to go to grain that quick with the desire to devour the grain and sub!
I just realized (as I sit in a hotel room) that for my entire adult life I move every 6-8 years. My reasoning is that last place (I move from) has given me everything I needed to reach another step in... View MoreI just realized (as I sit in a hotel room) that for my entire adult life I move every 6-8 years. My reasoning is that last place (I move from) has given me everything I needed to reach another step in my life. I'm really hoping I can be satisfied where I'm going too.
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