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Ayannah

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Ayannah

Status Update

Ayannah

May 13, 2020 11:40 am

Hi All. I'm new and wasn't really sure where to put this epic post. I thought here might be an ok place to start.

So I joined this community today. In a short period of time my eyes have been opened to... View MoreHi All. I'm new and wasn't really sure where to put this epic post. I thought here might be an ok place to start.

So I joined this community today. In a short period of time my eyes have been opened to the fact that there may be a doorway I can pass through to find some of the answers I have always somehow suspected may not just be part of my dreams and imagination.

I have been on a journey that would take weeks to write. This is the nutshell version: Lovely middle income farm life upbringing to drug addict by 13, arrested for trafficking heroin at 17, poverty, homelessness, to traumas that haunted me for years, to years of amphetamine abuse, toxic and abusive relationships, to rehab, defeating that demon, to study and hard work to achieve career success in the legal industry of all things, to a healthy relationship, to owning my own home, to becoming a mother, to doubting I am worthy of such happiness and success, because you know, that drug demon thing back there, to post natal anxiety with baby number two...which actually triggered the events that bring me here today...

Seeking help for the post natal brought me to a psych who introduced me to my healer who showed me the space within myself where I realised that maybe I could begin to find the answers and peace I seek...

So I will get to the guidance I'm looking for at this stage... I want to move towards having a DMT experience in the future, however a past experience with psychedelics (LSD) was not great. Understatement. It was absolutely terrifying. The thought of the experience brings on immediate anxiety. While that was 20 years ago, I have never wanted to go anywhere near psychedelics again.

I understand now that the reason I was doing it (for a laugh), the set and setting and probably the dosage (too much) resulted in the experience I had. I literally thought I was going to die. I cannot emphasise how sure I was of this. It was psychological and physiological agony all at the same time...for hours. I thought it would never end. My brain literally felt like it was on fire and going to explode.

I am concerned that if I don't deal with the fear that experience created and maybe do some work before going into my first DMT experience, that my fear will affect the experience.

I know I am close to lifting the veil and feel like DMT has all of a sudden made itself known to me so that I can finally see the full picture and get on with my true purpose, with the skills I need to navigate this human experience.

For those who have a lot of experience in this area, what steps would you take to prepare and try to minimise the possibility of that fear and anxiety hindering what I'm trying to achieve?

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Animal Energy

To prepare for DMT I am working on attachment - specifically reducing my attachment to life, in order to reduce my fear of death. I'm not the experienced advisor you're seeking, but figured I'd add this perspective as I've looked inward enough to understand that attachment is the root of this fear. ... View More

Like 2 May 13, 2020

Myco Guy

Welcome to the community! This is a great first post. Setting an intention day, weeks even months before your planned trip I think can go a long way in ensuring your journey goes smoothly. It is never fool proof. You're going to be shown what the experience what's to show you and the best you can do... View More

Like 3 May 13, 2020

Ayannah

Thank you all for welcoming me and for sharing your words of wisdom. I certainly have some work to do, however am looking forward to this part of my journey.

Like 1 May 13, 2020

ExMagic

I would just say be mindful of the fact that the map is not the territoy. So just because a lot of this community is spiritually minded. You may not come out the other side a reborn enlightened being. It may just be another experience that youve had. All investment are a gamble. So you never wanna ... View More

Like 2 May 13, 2020