Reposting for any opinion
Recommendations last few paragraphs to the first few than maybe whole thing.
This is a void dump post. Feel free to read n give opinion if pulled to do so. This is about grief n loss n with the embodiment of that being n allowing a space for honesty n hopes, death n wish.(Main... View MoreThis is a void dump post. Feel free to read n give opinion if pulled to do so. This is about grief n loss n with the embodiment of that being n allowing a space for honesty n hopes, death n wish.(Mainly about my mental state with my experience with a Abortion 9 months ago,) realization n this was what I channeled:: (I WISH) -I wish I taught myself how to love. I wish I knew what that meant for me wishing I could have given you the love I can’t comprehend in this human form. I am a make believe shell of what could have been alive; Full. Instead I’m sitting on an alter alone: empty, but I am being respected as if I were a untouchable god surrounded by Jems if I chose to reflect n really look at how hollow n empty I am but I am actually a Shell on a alter in the dark that can still see the Jems. I wish I taught you how to walk.I wish I could have walked with you. Left you better than I found me at the end, guaranteed. Selfishly I could let you take the lead while we talk so all I have to do is make sure we don’t step off the path.I wish I could have at least once seen you fall n scream words I wish you didn’t hear me say. I know that’s harsh to say to you cause you never got to learn to run away from me like I did. I can’t believe you taught me how to feel. Yet you never got to see the sun. A Stubborn Empty shell on the windowsillI wish you close the curtains before you left. I wish I could have taught you how to run I wish I could have chased you in the mud.I would love for one day that You n Me; of what has been shifted in perspective n ways of looking at life. I take Responsibility for my Faults. Ripples of choice n growth or drowning, n I know a lot of damage n unjustified control i can’t even begin to understand from your own than how I on what I felt so strong about. I resented n envied the fact my choice of environment held it in what way I felt selfishly owed at the time I asked you to leave. I couldn’t let go of what I never allowed myself to fathom the thought of expectation of trusting/ valuing another or self. I was offended by the thought of pointing that to myself let alone you. I wish I could given time and value directly for you.I misunderstand n then blamed anything for my own 1 minded thinking.I wish I had a photo of the what you you taught me to make in my day to day choices. created I fully believe I have done n have justifiably made a choice that would have made some impact on you… good n bad. i hope you understand but I don’t forget what has been chosen on both sides: I now see my faults n I would love to see what maybe you have now found yourself in this freckle on the ass of godYou have no blame as bad or worse as my own. That’s a big statement. Yet some how, in some coincidence we found a thread that connected n untangled it together. Sadly we separate but we ended up on some random parallel timeline of a Island together n that’s a lot more than a lot of gods in cave drawing an I can say n that’s not even giving respect or value to what we fucking did n I thank you wholehearted.I can not fucking recognize the way I used to value all n self, n you have been a huge impact to my flow creating ripples n seeing what I am capable of. I give my self credit. “what do you want”You. As I want Me.I wish better for you. As I should wish for me….Right? what you were trying to battle in the world you saw while trying to clean up the mess I was asking you to hold. Before seeing the sun. I wish one day I might feel honored some good happen despite what hatful n selfish chose to have fentanyl pushed in, while ripping n viscously separating by my own choosing…. …………..I wish I made my dads gluttony confirmed heart attack home made fettuccine alfredo chicken. I wish I hyper focused of what you wanted. I’m trailing off… back on to some the make believe thing that ironically looked like I really big vacuum. That sucked the physical idea n all butterflies we could have chased. Instead I was it sat down. Given a juice box. Hearing I must sit n soak in what was taken; alone. U shaped divider pretending to give a false idea peace is real. Seconds feels like lives that we could have seen. All I know Life is Death Happy is SadCrawling is Walking Except for myself. For Now. Running is something I now do for you.Despite my unjustified resentment for the sun touching my spark instead of yours. Even after it all I’m running looking for plates that look like n sound like n smell like the plates I had wanted n held with you.The reality of the After, the plate I always thought I wanted wasn’t clean to begin with. Makes sense to find dirt when digging through the mud of my overwhelming thoughts.Mainly wishes. I held unfair resentment to After.the plates I brought to the table were nothing like how unimaginably possibilities of plates you could have learned to glass blow yourself. As I could do.,. I would love to maybe have the opportunity to see if you’d be willing to talk on a nonjudgmental. No attachment. No expectation. Just see one another as once was to non physical, unidentified way of communication only we understand.Maybe see growth in self through reflection. Despite being empty or a past thought… My number 333-111-8083Hope you’re still jumping realms humbly as I know I would have given you. Guaranteed. Thank you for being who you are with what I chose you couldn’t be. I can’t believe I was where I was in my head n I can’t take anything back not forget what happened.I have really enjoyed seeing the sun n feeling the heat you tried to get show me how to make. I wish I had the music down when you were asking me for help maintaining yours.I wish we were all saints. N you and I were both Angles walking in. Some random path you are leading me on. You happy looking at the bugs on the ground. As I was. N I am happy looking as the oddly shaped clouds in the sky. As I know you would. Sadly. No one’s a saint but you did what you needed n so did i. N you can’t say that’s not true. Guaranteed -Jem
Book ideasWrite it in the perspective as trying to go through life trying to find meaning n connection but not being able to comprehend self consciousness. “Why do they even call it self if not for a ... View MoreBook ideasWrite it in the perspective as trying to go through life trying to find meaning n connection but not being able to comprehend self consciousness. “Why do they even call it self if not for a reason to imply singularity in existence” Tumbling through lift attempting to be stable to only discover that’s caused by lack of true self awareness. Not holding anger or attachments because all is just wanting to be heard n only knows to do it in such way. -steal. -cheat.-hide.-fight. So holding animosity only holds strain on self which is all. Creating this cycle of tumbling. As soon as that click happened it seems the attachment n constant movement was meaningless. -Flow.-Strive. -Love.-Create. First thing that comes to mind is Bob Marley.One Love.We are one. Let’s get together n feel alright. ...Opinions?
Both writen by me in 2013-2015.I have made some revelations recently I will make a post about but this is a walk through of my personal view in this world n what has gotten me to the ah-ha moment that... View MoreBoth writen by me in 2013-2015.I have made some revelations recently I will make a post about but this is a walk through of my personal view in this world n what has gotten me to the ah-ha moment that has unlocked this overwhelming gratitude for all. In my mind all is one. Element.Feelings.Body.Mind.Self.You.Me.All.These poems are Sad but-oh my gosh to see how I knew I had light. Holding some half gram of value than.To now.Unfathomable. 180. Not 360.A full turn around.The growth I see. Please if you feel any relate or whatever. Hate. Sad. Anger. Love. Leave your thoughts? Or a just one word. Or keep living you n I’ll be content either way. Thank you ????️
It has been a very long time since I have checked in. A lot has happened an I am very grateful to still be  conscious. Thank you for all of you still being here . I wrote this on my last few night li... View MoreIt has been a very long time since I have checked in. A lot has happened an I am very grateful to still be  conscious. Thank you for all of you still being here . I wrote this on my last few night living in Hawai’i for the past two years: Hardly visibility, yet a glimpse of the brutal ripples on the Horizon. As the waves come crawling closer the screams of the dark bellow for miles beyond the eyes. Feeling the ground shake on impact The constant blows cascading over the birthmarks of Pele. Seeing a storm brew in the depths of the optical illusion we call the sea. Prepared for impact of the unknown. Whispering winds, electrified Thunder, as well as the Playful Pouring Rain. I am so lucky to be able to see the storm coming this time. The moon has Swallowed all the worries I had let consume me. Allowing the waves to crash against me. Rooting my feet to unbalanced for a opportunity for rebirth. I have tilted my Vision an my back on a force so powerful, how dare I refuse to turn around for so long. As I have began to learn about this place, I feel i need to embrace what Pele has done. Do not turn your back on the Ocean. FACE IT. Face the storm. Be one with the depth. Glide her vein to the cracks leading to such unimaginable warmth. Embody the constant crashes of Energy balled up inside. The screams of broken white caps of the soul saying it’s time to be Heard. Use it to create life. Create a new definition to the future we’re so anxious hand off to those next. Know that those veins Leaked through to the next. Embody the energy we hold dormant inside. Implode with the unthinkable possibility to come. We are what we are around, we are the elements. Why avoid what we know? Why disrespect our own? If my questions upset you, Is the word Disrespect the one you feel for, or is it’s OUR. OUR puts the responsibility up to All treat this place as if it were yours. Leave Anything Better Than You Found It.Use that energy. CREATE. 12:58am August 12th, 2022 Kailua-Kona Hawai’iI really miss that place but what’s meant to be shall be. I’ll be back.
I have not posted in a very long time, hello everyone! Hope all is well! I have been finally working on the things I’ve been striving for my whole life. I have picked up an moved to Hawaii. I finally ... View MoreI have not posted in a very long time, hello everyone! Hope all is well! I have been finally working on the things I’ve been striving for my whole life. I have picked up an moved to Hawaii. I finally detached myself from the wave of negativity I was soaking in back in the mainland, I have been blessed with everything that has crossed my path. My main mindset for what my goal is to do out here is make CBD Medicine an home made food to people around the island. I WOULD LOOOVE TO HEAR SOME OTHER PROCESSES PEOPLE USE CBD. For example what do you use an make cbd for an with
I would like to see what opinions some people have on D8 or Delta-8-THC? I am getting a large amount of positive reviews of it but I respect a lot people’s views on this app. Thank you much. Stay safe... View MoreI would like to see what opinions some people have on D8 or Delta-8-THC? I am getting a large amount of positive reviews of it but I respect a lot people’s views on this app. Thank you much. Stay safe y’all
Recently I feel very out of place and torn between two options. I feel utterly lost and I wish I had some help. I know I need to figure this out on my own. This isn’t any new feeling just upsetting on... View MoreRecently I feel very out of place and torn between two options. I feel utterly lost and I wish I had some help. I know I need to figure this out on my own. This isn’t any new feeling just upsetting ones. Struggling to feel wanted by those around you let alone your own being. I feel like I’m going no where except I am putting as much effort as I can into readapting and learning.
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