FairyTaleLand

So last night i had the urge to try and blast off again and i decided that the sandwhich method again would be my ticket. after talking with some people and doing a little more research i had come to the decision that i was just being a little bitch and wanted to try get as much as i could in one breath, because if i feel that dying feeling i pretty much just say no more and stop. anyway as i hold the molecule in my lungs and start to exhale, by the end of the exhale (now its all still very dreamy and i cant remember exactly what happen so this is just my best interpretations of what i can recall). but as i breathe out my last breathe its almost like "i" came out of that breathe but into just shapes, fabrics and feelings. I now think i understand how it feels more real than this reality. I remember for a while i kept thinking that i had my hands on something juicey but the words would slip away just as i thought that i thought of it. I think i may have been close to a ego dissoltuion but not certain, i knew that i was fine but i had no sense that i had a body and was just this thing experiencing what was happening. i was also getting feelings that was like everything i've done in the past leading me to cross the "t's" and dot some "i's" although i've more than likely crossed the "l's" and dotted the "z's" The next attempt isnt going to be for a while i think, i want to buy a good dab rig and dab my self a breakthrough dose and am going to try stick to a meditation schedule as well as doing dream recall so i can be more prepared for when i decide to not turn back. i definatly feel that my ego has shurnk but just in my thought process, I think when i go back im going to get my ass kicked but in a protective mum sort of way haha hope you guys enjoy the read :) x  

HOLY SHIT! i think i finally fully understand the phrase "words can't explain". best ill do my best. so basically the best way to put it from what i can remember is that i became a Kaleidoscope of emotions and sounds, apparently i was saying "ok i get it" and "Forever?" (as a question aswell). i remember saying it but i dont remember what i got. as i was slowly coming back down i started noticing i couldnt understand the words coming out of my mouth at the time but looking back on it i was talking english so i couldnt even understand my own language. keeping sweet but short, hope you enjoy x