I'm struggling to be content and engaged in each moment. I've been looking for spiritual answers all my life and I think I've found all the answers I need, but there's still this voice inside that jus... View MoreI'm struggling to be content and engaged in each moment. I've been looking for spiritual answers all my life and I think I've found all the answers I need, but there's still this voice inside that just hates being being. I have to constantly talk myself through why it's worth it to be alive, and why I'm not going to kill myself, but life still seems pretty pointless and no activity I engage in really seems worth it.Alan Watts talks about life just being a game that consciousness is playing with itself. I try to play and just engage with the moment, but I grew up on ideas of heaven and now it seems there's nothing to work toward and no point and that I'd rather just pass away than be part of all this messiness. And I am going through a lot personally right now cuz my family doesn't accept me for who I am so I'm losing everyone that I thought I could rely on. I just need reassurance it's worth it, and for these questions to stop so I can be content here and now
I have found many realizations in my life. The most important of them all, I have experienced in the pit of greatest turmoil. If you are religious, don’t be. Ritual only divides, it cannot heal you. Spirituality is indeed reality. It is indeed true. Religion has watered it down. Put it in the middle... View MoreI have found many realizations in my life. The most important of them all, I have experienced in the pit of greatest turmoil. If you are religious, don’t be. Ritual only divides, it cannot heal you. Spirituality is indeed reality. It is indeed true. Religion has watered it down. Put it in the middle of a room; surrounded by smoke and mirrors. The occult have inserted all this madness and confusion. When I saw no reason to live. When I couldn’t go 15 minutes without having a panic attack. When I was facing 3 years in prison. When I craved death. I cried out to God. I had no experience with genuine faith. I was honest with Him. Told Him I didn’t fully believe, that I wanted to. I just wanted healing. It came. All I did was give Him an honest shot to show me.
First and foremost, just from my experience if youre still living, than there must be something you want to live for. Doesnt matter how big or small.
Secondly, The blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the Womb. If your family is willing to reject you, for being you, than they are not ... View MoreFirst and foremost, just from my experience if youre still living, than there must be something you want to live for. Doesnt matter how big or small.
Secondly, The blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the Womb. If your family is willing to reject you, for being you, than they are not family. Fill your life with people who build you up, those are your family.
I dont exactly believe there is a reason to living, either. But that doesnt have to be a bad thing. It allows you to give it meaning, any meaning you want, and work towards that.
As for the heaven and hell concept taught in church. They are metaphors for the legacy you leave behind. The stories people tell about you, after youre gone. But thats just an idea.
Even when you feel you have hit the lowest point. Just remember, your not alone. There are many other people who have similar thoughts, and wants. Keep your chin up bro