Trip Reports
on August 19, 2020
I'll swear and then I'll feel a feeling of empathy for the people around me who go to church and live respectful lives as human beings not swearing as much as I do, maybe not even at all. I feel the love that they give me and all of the beauty in them makes me want to change. I don't want to swear like I've been anymore, I need to change my ways.
If I am doing something wrong in my life at this point in the experience I'll feel it. I'll feel the feeling of empathy and the feeling that I am doing wrong and that I'm better than that. Though at the same time I guide myself perfectly along with this in mind. I'm able to stay feeling like a good human being right now just living life and knowing that I'm worth it.
I've never felt this way in my life. It feels stimulating and I'm up right now typing this stimulated and full of smarts but still it's 4:30am in the morning here in Canada. There's times during the days when I'll just stop for a good 10 minutes or so and I'll giggle to myself in a room by myself and it'll be out of nowhere. It's like I'm just at that point loving my life and living in the moment like it's just blissful. I get the odd feeling of euphoria which comes and goes with tingly rushing feelings surging through my body at the same moments.
I feel none of the hopelessness that I did before. I feel that the voices in my mind are easy to tolerate and that no matter what they say I'll be positive and come up with the right answer in my brain for how to deal with the situation without totally failing and starting to yell at them and scream in a argument for hours which is always pointless. As these are voices in my mind this is pretty pointless I find not making up with them and making them love me instead of hate me in there, in my mind.
Posted in: Ibogaine
