My first LSD experience

I'm surprised LSD isn't a category. Anyways.

Two summers ago. Summer of 2018.

This was sometime between May and July. I was working at a pizza delivery service.  A year prior to this experience I had extracted DMT for the first time out of 50g mimosa hostilis. When I had tried to vape it, nothing happened. Not that I remembered anyways. I didn't try again for a long time. I thought that I had done something incorrectly.. back to the story.. While I was working at pizza delivery I had met some new friends. I hung out with them one night unexpectedly after work with my boss at the time. My boss didn't expect me to be there and he was hanging out with his current girlfriend (on the down low but it only confirmed what I already assumed based on how they acted around each other) . While I was there they got a text about one of their connects/plugs . He said that he had a guy who could get him DMT and he was so excited about it because he hadn't had any in a long time . I was excited too because I had been desperately seeking ego death for a long time and hadn't achieved it . I researched DMT for over a year after I first extracted . So a week or two goes by and still no word back from this plug of theirs.  I start getting impatient and I tell them that I've extracted it before and I can do it again, I just need the equipment . I compiled a list of everything I needed to make it happen the way I wanted to do it . It was approximately $400 . The blender being the most expensive part . So everyone tells me "yeah sure I'll help you make this happen because I really want it to happen too." One of the people told me they had been growing a mimosa hostilis tree (I never confirmed it with my eyes, to this day I don't believe it to be true) . I asked them if I could carefully and delicately harvest some bark from their tree so that I could extract for everyone . They constantly made excuses . I regrettably went the fuck off on them and called them cowards for not wanting to face their demons . I was judging them for being alcoholics . But my boss at work was telling me that he had some LSD at the time . I did research on it for a night and decided 'fuck yeah I'll try it'. Every other drug I've ever done I've researched for way longer before doing it. But I had a hunch about LSD. I'm autistic/empathic as fuck and it's always bothered me to make eye contact with other people. I've always been insecure about it.. but I believed it to be true that it would help me.

So he gives me a tab. I set up a day with my girlfriend at the time (now my ex) and we went to the creek behind my house. When I first had the dose in my hand I was nervous to take it . Why wouldn't I be ? Eventually I say fuck it, what do I have to lose? I'm not dead yet after everything I've been through so far.. So I'm out back in the woods behind my house, sitting in my hammock. My first words within the hour "I feel drunk" and couldn't stop laughing.. I was swinging in my hammock as if it was a swing. I was complaining about the nausea as if it was the come up of drunkenness.. after the hour passed and nausea subsided I was so in tune with my physical body, I wanted to explore everything . I took my pants off and stripped down to my shirt and boxers in front of my friend and girlfriend . I sat down in the middle of the cold Creek indian-style cross legged, my hands buoyant on the surface of the water floating on their own. Light tracers and swirls were coming off of the top of the water.  I went into the first moment in my life where the voices in my head were silent. For 90 minutes I sat there in complete silence without saying a word without even realizing it. I was at peace for the first time in my life. When I came back, my girlfriend told me it had been two hours and it confused me because it had felt like a day, but also like only two minutes. I immediately realized I could fix trauma and insecurity with words. When I grew up I was abused and had scars all over my body that I was ashamed of . I didn't like taking my shirt off in front of other people because it made me highly self conscious and uncomfortable . But I pulled my shirt off in front of my friends and started sobbing uncontrollably.  I told them about the insecurity and they told me they had no clue I was insecure about something so silly and stupid but it didn't matter to me how they felt, it was how I FELT. When I realized I could fix logical fallacies with "better coding" I immediately started out loud with "I am" affirmations and went on rambling for what seemed like 5 to 10 minutes..each affirmation triggering deep felt pain and emotion inside of me.. it was beautiful. I couldn't stop crying, the tears flowed like the creek water behind me.  I felt at such peace I hadn't expressed emotion in so many years. It was repressed deep inside of me. Over the course of the following month I did maybe 15 tabs of LSD . I mixed it with cannabis and homemade rosin by yours truly and it triggered my visuals much stronger than before . LSD made me start eating healthier, and when I better organized my brain, everything around me started clearing up also. I made better eye contact with others.. I started getting better tips at work.. I could be vulnerable again.
Attached photo is me on my first 90 minutes of peace on Earth. ❤️