Insearchofsomething

First and foremost, I'm glad it happened, I never want it to happen again. Im glad it happened because I've seen so many stories detailing their bad trips and I wanted to see what it was like. NOTE: I took ~350 ug and smoked weed during the come up. 2:30 am - 4 hours into my trip. I'm on my friend's couch who is also tripping. We have the house to ourselves and we are watching some of our favorite trippy music videos. The visuals were somewhat weak due to us tripping about 12 days before, however my friend was leaving soon so this was our only chance. We had read that smoking can increase visuals and we wanted to try it because we were disappointed with ours. We had another friend of ours in the house roll a joint that we smoked together. This is where it became bad. 3:30 am - Im now somewhat near the peak of my trip and simply put, I am way too high. I had forgotten that we had taken LSD. Obviously I didn't actually forget, but for some strange reason my brain was telling me that I was in danger and not just high off a drug. I began having some very dark thoughts that I dont feel like explaining, but it was very scary, especially since I do not normally have these thoughts. According to my sober friend, I tried closing my eyes and falling asleep on the couch. However as I remember the close-eyed visuals only made it worse. I wanted to stop tripping at any cost. 4:00 am - While only half an hour had passed, as many of you know, on LSD time is extremely slowed. I felt like I had began tripping hours and hours ago and that I should be coming down by now, which only further increased my panic. My mind was racing faster than I even knew was possible, it felt like I was processing thoughts too fast and my brain was going to short circuit. I had to keep telling myself, "im tripping, i will come down." "im tripping, i will come down." In all honesty I can't say that I had suicidal thoughts, but I now understand how people have them, in the moment I would have done anything to stop my trip. 4:30 am - At this point, while still somewhat at my peak, my visuals lowered slightly. Before I could not see what I was looking at, it was simply an arrangement of colors and swirling shapes, now however I can look at the TV and see what is happening. My mind quickly settled and I started enjoying my trip alot more. I don't believe i experienced ego death, but i definitely got caught in a thought loop, very scary trip. Effects: Since this trip (3 weeks ago maybe) I have found myself often caught in thought. Whether it be daydreaming at work or just my mind wandering while someone talks, it happens alot. I also have trouble sleeping due to my mind racing and I just cant settle. However, it is slowly getting better, especially as i smoke more, i feel like being high on marijuana is helping me be less afraid of drugs again. P.S.: I am a MASSIVE fan of Lil Uzi Vert and while I was tripping his music is the only thing that tied me to reality. If it wasn't for him I don't know what i would have done.