Into the void 10 grams of mushrooms

It all started late summer back in 2016. I was 18 at the time. I had recently took an interest in mushrooms due to a few unordinary experiences I had in my life around that time that seemed to open the doors of my spirituality and i felt drawn to continue with the recent discoveries and keep trying new things. I was well experienced with Lsd and ketamine already and many other drugs.  I was coming to understand altered states and the function of the universe/mind after having a near death experience from an acute overdose on heroin months before. That incident had a profound domino effect on the events in my life and a wild shift in perception. I wont get into that much in this report other than the effect it had on my cravings for opiates I was struggling with. Here goes:It  was September 2016. I had acquired 20 grams of mushrooms for me and my girlfriend L (now ex) to consume. We both had off work that day and I was on house arrest at the time but i had just had a probation visit. i knew we were in the clear to go on an excursion. We walked to a beautiful local nature park close to our homes. Ready for the day. We set up our hammock and laid out a little picnic set up. It was hot as fuck outside but it would be dark in a few hours. We talked briefly to assess each others emotional/mental stability before eating the mushrooms. We had only done mushrooms once before in a low dose.  We knew it was high dose but we thought we could handle 10 grams each not knowing the true power of mushrooms. We sat down and started eating the shrooms with nutella. 20 grams all together and 10 g each. It took quite a while to get it down. We were already feeling the effects before finishing but we finished. We sat there momentarily letting the wave of body intensity come in before releasing into bliss and psychedelia. A wave of pure childlike innocence washed over us. A heavenly feeling. Full of love and beauty. We did not have to communicate verbally much at this point. We just knew. We got up because we wanted to go explore now that the psychedelia had started hitting us. It was coming on harder and cleaner than any psychedelic experience I've ever had to this day. We wandered around in the trees briefly looking at each other in awe. We were blown away. The world uncovered was made of the most clear and abstract geometry, symbols, and depth weve ever seen. The world was pure imagination. Completely Indescribable. We would stop and talk to the trees for a few minutes. Yes they would speak back. To this day I swear it was real.  If it was quite comical and we were laughing having fun with it. Before getting to the elder tree. I stopped for minute. L slowly walked ahead of me. I kept my eyes fixed on her. Goddamn she was the most beautiful woman i have ever met. She was so beautiful. she looked like a goddess.  Her and everything was made of symbols and beauty. I had wave of this feeling that I can only describe as sacred and ancient wash over me. She turned to face me. We looked in each others eyes for minute and walked towards one another. We hugged and had a moment. After that moment we started speaking with our bodies and joking  playfully dancing. She showed me her hands and we were amazed to see the tips of her fingers glowing with light. we looked at our feet and they were elf like and growing into the ground. We suddenly became elf like. We took on our own forms. She had 4 eyes and was blue. I forgot how she described mine afterwards. We sat by a cherry tree for minute staring into the infinity of it. we decided to walk down by the shore of the  of the lake. On the way I decided casually to bring to the attention of the circumstance to her that this is the most intense trip we have ever had. Still stands true today. Even amongst dmt trips. It reach those depths. But I'll get there. We got to the lake. There was a bunch of boats on the lake that day. They sounded like a bunch of noisy birds honking at each other and it made us laugh hysterically. The sunset was shining through our souls and off in the distance we could see what looked like the castle in the wizard of oz. The clouds were shaped like Mario clouds. It was a sight. The trip is still building at this point. A Fisherman drives by and stares at me as I'm holding a big stick. The stick somehow becaome part of our family. I see the fisherman staring at us. Then as im staring at him I see a boat cop in the distance. It ruined the mood for me because I had just collected a felony LSD charge and spent time in jail. I wasnt on good terms with police so the sight was displeasing. Right as that happens a wave of intensity slaps us in the face.As we were turning around, "I think we should go b-" and suddenly the landscape had suddenly twisted upside down and we didnt know where we were. Fear struck me and I could tel it hit her too. I said " just follow me and we'll get there. we just have to walk straight". we were heavy and tripping sack and trusting our feet were going to get us back to the hammock safely. We had sight of the hammock but holy shit it's a lion. I suddenly thought there was a lion at our spot. It disappeared as we looked. We made it back. she laid in the hammock. We couldn't walk anymore really. I sat on the ground. I was sweating bad and overheating from the heat outside. I thought I was going to die. I kept fainting in and out of this dmt like realm. She told me to get in the hammock with her. I did. We were tripping fucking sack. This is the part where I dont think my words can really describe what I felt or happened. My ego started shattering and and dying. I felt at one with it all. the first time in my life I knew I could confirm I wasnt crazy anymore and their was something more to life. I cried hard. And so did L as we lay there. I yelled repeatedly for a while "we made it, this is it" as I'm crying. It felt as if this is what heaven is. I was ini this matrix of sorts and oneness had enveloped me.the weirdest thing happen and suddenly I became L. I literally was her. I was not in my body any longer. And we had transformed into this weird mutant creature with multiple arms and legs. I started speaking in tongues of this language I was not familiar with. I started grabbing L's face and slapping her for some reason. I dont remember why lol. And then this warmth in our bodies I assume was the urine I discover later. I could feel her peeing and myself. We peed all over each other. The rest of this part of the trip is a bit hard to describe becasue i was completely dissolved in the abyss the next hour or two so I'm not going to attempt to describe that. I will point out it was a form of complete loss of self and merging with the light. I would snap out of it for brief moment throughout this for the next few hours just to fall back into it. Finally I gained ground on reality. I was still tripping hard as fuck. I was seeing in third person void of ego looking at L. She came to quicker than me and is playing on her tablet. I see tears running down her face. I'm crying as well I think. I still think I'm her at this point. I snap back into my body somewhat still not able to comprehend what's going on or who I am. I get this anxiety that's like 'oh shit, where are we, who I am i, am i dead, am i you, am i in trouble, why is everything black'. We were caught in this void. no trees no nothing anywhere. Just black. I conjure up the energy in my body to gain function. I'm scared thinking something bad happened. L is scared too. I suddenly feel wet. I check my pants and they're drenched. I feel L's pants and theyre wet. Then I realize oh shit we pissed our pants. Everything is soaked. We peed all over each other. I check my pants for my phone. I pulled it out and its soaked in piss. It doesnt work and smells like shit. I fall out again into the realm. I come back with L trying to get me awake. I'm unaware of who I am. She drags me out of the hammock into this black landscape. She says we gotta figure out where we are and get out of here. I'm struggling to walk and keep falling straight on my face. We walked for a while and couldn't find anything. Not even a tree or a landmark. Nothing. I keep falling on my face and eventually I just stayed there laying on the ground. L came and laid down with me. We talked about what we were going to do. We realized we needed to call someone to come pick is up. We couldn't figure out where we were but we knew we were at the park. We called her aunt. She came and picked us up and we went home from there smelling like piss. everything slowly went back to normal. I'd like to add that after this trip my cravings for opiates and all drugs ceased to exist. This was the most intense trip I've ever had. Its tied with the trip I had two weeks afterwards which was very deep and personal. Hope you enjoyed reading!