billyboys

Existence is amusement  The day began with my brother and I drinking dud shroom tea, 3g and no effects, so after 70min, I get the acid out! 200ug on the tongue, and off we go We had a great day by the spa with my sober partner, while we were tripping and I was smoking weed to increase the visuals when I have a dose smaller than 300ug, it also makes me happier because I love weed. I really enjoyed being outside for nearly the whole day, just laying down looking at the trees and the bright blue sky, couldn't have been a better day to be outside, and although I love the outdoors I always take it for granted, not today! I feel amazing, having deep chats with my brother about life, I feel like since starting taking acid over the last 12months I've changed but in only positive ways. This makes me start to question the meaning of life as I do very often since taking acid. Love that perspective change! As I'm sitting on the ground, just amused with everything around me I feel like the monkey that bangs the cymbals, he does it purely for his amusement, there is no purpose besides that (this is where my inspiration for my art came from) I have a lightbulb moment. When I am on acid, I always do what I want to do, no filter just what I want to do to be amused, just like the monkey. As I sat there I realized that just being alive is a true gift, and everything I experience is for my amusement. I am apart of this great show called life, I have heard Alan Watts say this or at least something very similar, but I never truly understood it, I thought I did, but I understood it in a completely different way. Living is a gift, and you should always do what you love and surround yourself around who you love,  I'm an adrenaline junkie, skydiving, bungee jumping, etc. I reflect on this and I come to the realization as to why I enjoy it so much. Bungee jump, for example, is literally jumping to your death and then right as your about to cease to live you are pulled up to safety, a big 'stuff you' to death, so close but not today. This gives the ultimate thrill, and absolute amusement to my life because I am not dead, even though a fall that big should kill you it doesn't, I am still living, I am still experiencing the show! I think about afterlife and I say to my brother that I think heaven is such an egotistical thing. us humans believe that because we exist and are aware of this, we deserve an afterlife. Being should just be enough, we have life, and to add to that we know we have life. Something inside me just clicked, and I truly felt the love of being alive, and my god do I hope everyone gets to experience this because this is a whole new level of happiness and love. It suppressed my fears of being judged in society, I'm not going to conform, I am unique and that is amazing. I will do what I want in this life because I can! I want to spread love not hate! I want to try and help people experience this level of happiness Thank you acid for doing exactly what I wanted (this is my 9th trip btw) Thanks everyone who reads this, I hope you experience my happiness also, love you all!

First-ever LSD Microdose – 10ug 0800 – Dropped 0.5ml which is 10ug onto my tongue 0900 – Get to MMA ready to go for the session head 1000 – That was a crazy session, a lot of work on the heavy bag, hitting super hard, my kicks are feeling super quick. I felt like I wanted to work harder. I've completely forgotten I’ve micro-dosed too. 1030 – On the way home I am singing and dancing in the car to kid Cudi, and got some random happy tears I go to the kitchen and go to have my regular cereal, but I decided I wanted something healthier, so I had some mango and yogurt Messaged my MMA coach and thanked him for the session, felt like sharing the love a bit 1100 – go shopping with brother jeff for tie-dye kits and shirts 1140 – start tie-dying for the first time, just wanted to do something fun for the day since I had no work. Had heaps of fun, we had Kid Cudi blasting too 1200 – Just in a really good mood 1500 – Feeling super chatty, almost excited 1800 – At Kmart with my fiancée and we are having fun instead of just shopping. We have a massive chat when we get home about psychedelics and how passionate I am about it. She said she knows how passionate I am, she can see it when I talk, and she agreed that they weren’t bad drugs at all, that felt amazing. I think I did a really good job explaining it. 0000 – finished playing Xbox, had a great time playing with my mates, off to bed now, what a day!

08:12:19 300ug Trip Report - Long, detailed  Thanks for reading, there are some pretty raw emotions in this, hope you enjoy! 2100 – Took approximately 300ug of LSD, by taking 1 tab and cutting the second the best I could 2115 – Nothing kicking in yet, went and smoked some weed with my brother 2130 – Starting to feel the effects of LSD 2145 – Playing Xbox still but aware I want to get off to be solo very soon Lose sense of time from here Saw red and blue 3D effects all around, especially on Jeff my brother Every time I write in my notes, I see a picture of my fiancee, Rebecca, trippy Rebecca standing in the fridge and this melts my heart, I get such an overwhelming sense of love for George. Seeing everything, especially jeff in a funky mirror distortion effect I start doing some flow like moves, I'm very sore from rock climbing at the moment so moving and stretching feels very good. This gets the closed eye visuals colorful. I then wanted to see how many pull-ups I could do, and I was smashing them out, super strong, when I hit about 22 i started seeing rainbow streaks It was incredible I said to myself out loud “look at these rainbows” the rainbows were a constant throughout the trip. Close eyes and open I’m seeing rainbow, and neon rainbow, super bright. The kaleidoscope was shimmering rainbow lines I become aware of how animal I feel – Wade my mate said to me “You become a lot more sensitive to your instinct rather than systematic thinking” and this does explain the experience to me. I’m aware of who I am, not just what society has taught me but I’m 1v1 with the true me, It felt good typing I love Rebecca, and I am experiencing enormous typing difficulties, but this is important to me and makes me feel amazing. “Every time I look at her on acid, my heart literally melts. Like her being is my happiness. She’s so deeply rooted to me, like literal roots. Our personalities come so much from each other and our happiness together. I can hear her say “Christmas Tree” with the same cute tone of voice she uses to say it with me. I become aware that my train of thought is finally back onto vibrations, which is why I opened my phone in the first place. Everything has been very crazy, new ideas just hitting me constantly What sound does sound make, since all sounds are vibrations. “Neeeooommm” like an airplane taking off. A deep thought that I have trouble to put together. Put pale blue dot and next frontier, bliss n eso fully talk about tripping in their songs. And for so long I never knew this. Perspective is everything. I can’t unlock my phone with my thumbprint, my mind jumps to what if it's not me trying to unlock the phone. This thought I am aware could be scary for some, but I just laugh because the LSD is doing what the LSD wants and I’m aware of this. But it was a cool experience to have, very trippy.  I see Rebecca again, and it just resets all my emotions to love and I get hit by waves and waves of love, she is the true trip sitter for me. Next frontier back on – I am meditating at the same time and closed eye visuals go nuts. I see my relationship with Jeff as an analogy to the visuals. I see these workers working away, but just building higher and higher, they seem to be building pyramids, but flipped. As in its just making the bond bigger and bigger instead of a traditional pyramid with the peak at the top being the smallest, this is a symbol of mine and Jeffs relationship. We just keep growing together and forming this bond. I say to Jeff “it’s crazy, you’re a completely different person, but you fully get it. You get me 100%” This is a crazy feeling. Spiritually feel good here, found a partner for life. Having very noticeable auditory hallucinations now. Everything is vibrating and revibrating, very intense. Either I stopped the music, or the music stopped, but with the headphones on I fell like sensory deprivation, and I can hear vibrations. I could hear a dog walking and sniffing around, my perspective was from beneath and the realm where the dog was only in partial focus. Could see its big nose sniffing and moving the ground. Then I hear a new deeper frequency, possible when the aircon went louder, unsure but this makes me uneasy so put my music back on. I had another closed “Everything we touch resonates like butterfly wings” – bliss this perfectly describes the kaleidoscope effect, but on multiple planes. LIVE LAUGH LOVE – this resonates with me heavily, this is my main goal in life Kaleidoscope over everything now “Humans are just conscious animals” – I feel this Jeff sent me Juvenescence by Verzache, and its on repeat as I chill and try and meditate again, I found myself being so distracted to other music. I wanted to have a good vibe song, while I viewed all these closed eyes visuals like I was a kid in a theme park. And I do think that’s what LSD is, its 12hrs of you being like a little kid in a theme park for the first time and wanted everyone to see from your perspective, look at this, look at this, it's so exciting. Found the picture of Rebecca again, instant happy tears because I realise, I have captured a genuine moment together “two hippies, tripping and loving” I say to myself “She’s perfect for me, we just work” 0130 – I’m dancing in my room, eyes closed, just feeling all the energy inside me move, pure bliss at this moment. “Why is this drug illegal, I’m doing it in the comfort of my own room, no one knows besides who I inform prior to the trip. I’m not hurting anyone, I’m just studying my consciousness. Just exploring myself, the ultimate self-time. Caught up on vibrations again, they really captured me this time around. “all vibrations affect each other, the ripple effect” 0200 – “You know what they say, see rainbow, smoke more weed” Feeling very at ease at this moment after I smoked. Realise this is only 5hrs in so could just be one of the waves, for a second you feel sober, and then it takes over all again. Especially since I just smoked again, here come more visuals “scottyyyy” – heard these lyrics for the first time in soundtrack to my life “and they all couldn’t see, that little bit of sadness inside of me… scottyyyy” this completely changed how I perceived this verse, love this aspect of LSD, new perspectives, even though it was there all along. “As long as Jeffs happy, I’m happy” – Woah deep, that felt like it came from deep within Listening to Cudi, Spotify gives some insight into the song, he said “when I got arrested, everyone calls me an addict, I was never an addict, I was just on a ride for a little bit” I resonate with this because I’m not an addict of anything, these things make my life better, I’m trying to find the balance in life, I just want people to sit back and love me for me. Unfuckwitable comes on, this gets me beyond excited, it makes my soul go full animal mode, I put in my notes “unfuckwitable is my pump up ape song” when he says “don’t you feel it, mmmm nah no matter noooo, ah wooww” this sit with me because I don’t feel anyone feels the same as I do, but it doesn’t matter to me because I feel amazing. I have closed eye visuals again and I can see how the universe is a bubble, brought together by more bubbles which were different universes. This was a really cool visual. I get on photoshop and start creating, but I find a color spectrum image, and this is like seducing my eyes, the stimuli’s amazing, so many colours, colours are good. I go to change the batteries in my Xbox controller, and I start conversing in my head in a foreign language the instructions on how to put the batteries in the correct way. I laugh out loud at this like “yeah I know how to put some fucking batteries in thanks ahah, and your foreign instructions are not helping one bit” but I was full conversing in a different language I did not know, and I did this so easily, no thinking, just instantly happening. Realized I am the driver of this trip, although it doesn’t feel like it always, you can control the trip to a degree So, I decided to think about old dog Lu, I would like to see what LSD can do to me when I think of her. And I see so many memories of her flood into my mind, all the times she was an absolute spastic and getting stuck in places, and all the things that made me laugh about her which is a lot came out, I am crying at this point, but full happiness tears. I know I said to myself “I miss you lu” (this is very hard to type, makes me tear up) but I stop myself on a pretty good cry and go nah that’s enough cry time, very therapeutic and a release, but I don’t want to cry anymore, with a sense of pure loving for my dog I let my mind wander to the next thought that it so willingly provides. I’m not sure the difference in letting go and getting caught into a bad trip. I’m such a firm believer that there aren’t bad trips, just difficult ones, and it will only build you up and deal with issues deep within. But I’m scared because I’ve never been put into a bad trip that just letting it take over may not be the best option. I notice out of the corner of my eye a giant entity sitting on my beanbag, viewing the music on the tv like a concert, like an interdimensional concert almost. This entity is not a threat to me, just minding its own business, I continue with my trip. I come to the terms that I am simply ready for more, I feel like my foots in the door, as Terence McKenna talks about by not taking enough. I want to be able to lay down, comfortably, knowing my body is safe, and be able to transport my consciousness to another level. I want to be able to fully let go and have an out-of-body experience, and I believe by being comfortable ill be able to do that without fear.  I come to terms with the purging aspect of ayahuasca, if I need to shit, Ill shit. Simple as that, just enjoy the experience. 0300 – I have one more final packed cone before I pack up 0454 – I send to Jeff a video of Alan watts – sudden enlightenment, and I genuinely felt this on a spiritual level. He speaks about the jester, how they find not taking things serious funny. And not getting caught up in life, the joker is there in jest, it doesn’t need to be there. I see it as your living, have fun. decide to try and rest and enjoy the rest of the ride without notes, just let my mind go. I fall asleep eventually, unsure when but it was soothing 1000 – I wake up, still feeling high but only subtle, this is cool. I reflect on my memory of what happened, not looking at my notes. I knew that bottom line, I felt like I had experimented with my consciousness last night, and that is beyond fascinating.

First Candy Flip – 200ug of LSD & 350mg of MDMA 0600 – wake up in our 3-story penthouse we are staying in for the weekend for a mate’s birthday 0630 – Put LSD Tab on my tongue 0700 – People start waking up now, I’m starting to feel the beginning effects of it kicking in 0730 – feeling it now, dancing and having a great time 0800 – first time swimming on LSD – it felt amazing – I’m a great swimmer to begin within saying that, but I wasn’t worried about my motor skills failing me and drowning, I felt strong and I’m enjoying gliding underwater. 0830 – smoked some weed because I told everyone this weekend, I was being safe, but I was really going to have a great time. Visuals defiantly enhanced now, full kaleidoscope took over my vision of my friends, very cool, but I snap out of it quickly 0900 – I decide that to take one MDMA cap because I am not feeling the acid as much as I should (I had tested this new batch 4 nights previously, so my tolerance defiantly had built up. 0930 – MD is working with the acid now, I haven’t stopped dancing all morning. I’ve also had a few vodkas, nothing to get me drunk but just to relax by the pool, it is very hot 1000 – I’ve been in the pool about 4 times now to cool off, and absolutely love the water, I begin to do front flips because it makes my stomach feel funny and I love the sensation. Feeling very happy at this point, having an absolutely great day 1030 – my fiancée has an MDMA cap also, this makes me happy because she rarely drinks but I’ve recently introduced her to it, and she loved it (still only occasionally using though) 1115 – I’m feeling great and have another MDMA cap because we are going to get catapulted into the air on this ride nearby and I wanted to be sent to a new dimension. 1130 – the fiancée starts getting a bit cranky, I forgot she had even taken one, I ask her if she is hot and she goes “I’m so hot, feel like I’m burning on my insides”. I’m so used to being the one on drugs and her being sober, so I usually just listen to what she says because she probably knows better. But dynamic shift, I may be on more than she is, but she’s not used to it at all and I found her in the fridge trying to cool down. This moment is very cute, I take a photo of it and I make a note to photoshop that later. After this I got her into the pool with some water and she felt a whole lot better. Pretty happy I could still look after her on acid if I needed too 1145 – uber arrives to take us to get flung into the air 1200 – OMG – that was an unreal experience. I’m very much an adrenaline junkie and not usually afraid of much when it comes to adrenaline activities. However, I was very much nervous before this ride sent us, just because I really was in uncharted territory now, I’m usually sober or just have a weed high for these things, not after candy flipping. WOW! It was intense. The wind in my face and the stomach drop felt amazing, I felt like I was being rocketed into a new world. Then we did a few flips which really made the stomach drop which I loved! We came down and watched the video, and it was hilarious. I don’t think I’ve looked that crazy before. Both of us now on an adrenaline high now as well, we head back to the penthouse 1230 – back in the house and went for another swim because it was so ridiculously hot. I loved looking up at the sky from underneath the water in the pool, thought that was a cool perspective, the way the sunshine and how it hits the water at all different angles, really enjoying the trip so far, visuals are still very apparent, everyone’s faces are distorted, eyes where they shouldn’t be, mouth out to the side, all the good stuff. 1600 – I didn’t take many notes over the hours between, but I had a great time dancing and being around friends, this is the first time I had ever done it in front of a crowd of people (10 of us) I had only ever done it with one of my mates there once. So, it was cool to be pulling it off recreationally and not getting freaked out like they were concerned 1630 – we decide to call an uber it takes us to Timezone – a massive arcade. And I thought to myself, well let’s see how trippy I can get. So, I have another MD Cap and I split one with my fiancée because she isn’t sure about another. 1700 – Timezone is massive, a lot of stimuli, making my visuals go very good. We all are playing together and it’s great. I somehow lose the group, I know not ideal. Its so big with no signage, and it's also ridiculously hot in there. So, I start to get a bit overwhelmed and begin walking in circles not sure how to get out. My mate grabs me from nowhere and says to me “you’re in a bad trip, you’re stuck in here forever” my jaw dropped with fear for half a second before I realized who it was and laughed, he grabbed me and escorted me out. It was very funny. 1800 – back in the house, glad to be out of there. Visuals are not apparent anymore but had a great day. A success  

0900 – Take 1 200ug tab of LSD 1000 – Definitely feeling the effects now, playing on the Xbox and shapes keep forming on the screen, very very cool. Unsure what the time was from here on out Playing Xbox still and having deep conversation with a mate online, feel like I know what to say and explain my emotions very well Playing Call of duty and someone shot an RPG and the smoke trail was rainbow wow! - photoshop idea Decide to get off Xbox I conclude that I believe my perspective is correct. As I come to this conclusion, I notice someone sitting next to me on the bed. I felt a little freaked out because, well someone was sitting next to me. I looked over however and discovered it was myself sitting there looking at me. LSD reflection of me gives a thumb up to me as to say well done for discovering the “my perspective is right” thing and as I had that synch in, he (clone me), vanishes. WOW! Electric feels on by MGMT and pursuit of happiness by Kid Cudi. Music is sounding amazing, peaking at this point Dancing in my room to both songs on repeat, I remember that I watched kid Cudi at Coachella dancing to electric feel live on acid, and this makes me super happy, so I watch again. I love how carefree he is on stage and how much he is enjoying himself. I feel a connection there, I don’t want to live my life in fear, I want to be able to dance and sing whenever I want, and not care who’s watching. “A day without dancing is a day wasted” – I say to myself This tri is going very well, not worried about anything just having a great time As I dance, I think to myself why we dance, and I think dancing is expressing your emotions when you can’t say it in words. It’s a feeling that can’t be described. I imagine why listening to music and sex go hand in hand, your giving in to your body’s desires Pursuit of happiness back on – I realise that this is my reason for living, to be happy. I’m a very happy person in general, but since experimenting with psychedelics I have found a new level of happiness. It’s very freeing I always tell people my favourite colour is blue, but I genuinely can’t pick a favourite colour, it constantly changes. Closed my eyes to see what visuals I could get – I get taken to this scene of “the big reveal” of who I am deep deep down. This makes me a little anxious, what if it’s something I don’t like? Then the curtain is pulled back and this ape starts making its way outside from this box. This gets me super excited, I started saying “Yes!!” Over and over, this resonates with me because I love to climb and have always had a deep love for apes. I smoke some weed to enhance the visuals at about 3am I close my eyes again and just let the visuals go crazy, I saw a lot of crazy things, I defiantly feel tested at this point but I’m not letting it get to me. I see the IT Clown appear, and I felt like this could start going bad, but I just laugh it off like “ahah how did he get there”. And then the next image came. Visuals are going pretty nuts as I meditate, I’m having a great time I end up falling asleep at about 5 am I wake up and talk to my brother about it, this trip was amazing I smoke 3 cones before we go, and this brings the visuals back which is what I wanted. We go rock climbing and I still feel really good, not lsd high but what I’ve read about micro-dosing sounds very similar. We get to climbing, I’ve had maybe 4 hours sleep, but feel great. It doesn’t take long for me to start getting excited, I feel strong, and I mean really strong. I’m getting routes I don’t think I would’ve got beforehand, holding onto holds I would’ve normally slipped off. Euphoria at this moment. I also have my music pumping and I feel fearless and I start dancing in front of everyone, this continued the whole session. I want to give micro dosing, that was the best bouldering session.