wolfgirl

A few days back I lsd'd again for maybe the 15th time since July 19. It was a lovely experience. As usual, I went to a favorite graveyard and laid on a blanket on my back and stared upwards. There were beautiful clouds and they moved and swirled across the sky, the bird calls were wonderful and all the nature noises began to emerge. The birds were birding, the trees were treeing, small creatures were about and doing their doings. Eventually, I sank into it completely. As the clouds undulated and the bird calls sang out, and creatures rustled- something else became undeniably evident. I experienced the Rhythm of Existence. It was so enormous. It felt as if I was finally simply existing. I've meditated before and even as far as taken part of regular zazen sittings at a Buddhist temple. Those sittings did make me feel present. But this was entirely different. This was the capital "U" niverse being- and I was simply in it as an entity having an experience. Where meditation would put me more, as they say "In my body"- this other experience was to be free of it. And simply existing. It was fantastic.

Yesterday I dropped acid for about the 11th time this summer. As I began peaking I realized this time would be a very spiritual experience and was quietly excited. I've been aware of tree spirits for years, and even before I took lsd or possessed esoteric beliefs, I was once spoken to by a tree at a local park. I'll never forget it. When on lsd, tree spirits become really, really evident to me. Yesterday as I passed a large, tall magnificent tree, it's spirit was undeniable as a very powerful presence to me, it was very, very strong. I had to ask my husband if the tree was dead. He said "Very much so". It wasn't though, only to our eyes- it was very strongly alive in spirit. Intensely so. Enormous strength in that spirit. As we turned a corner, a woman was standing, perhaps waiting on the bus. And I saw her spirit. As with the time a tree spoke to me and I heard it with my being, not my ears- this woman's spirit was seen with my spirit, not my eyes. I saw the "now" her, and the stretching back to when she was a child and even earlier her- I saw her fully as an entity. To use a phrase, I saw that she was "a spirit having a human experience". In my mind's eye, a spark, an entity, an energy. It was an ineffable experience of beauty. I went to a graveyard as I often do and have been for years. I laid quietly on a blanket and waited for the sounds and creatures of nature (that we're a part of) to emerge, and they did. Very nearby, one of my family animals (I haven't human family) came out behind me- a young coyote who I've visited often. These creatures are precious to me and after he walked away, I walked in his footsteps to borrow some coyote energy via my boots. I took that energy home to my large dog, who I have been trying to connect with for years. He is quite docile and submissive and I often remind him he is a descendant of wolves. I'd brought home coyote energy and hoped to share it with him. My dog laid down on the bed with me while we listened to some doom metal as we usually do and I looked into his eyes for a time... I felt the music in my body. This type of metal always resonates with me but this time it was reaching my bones and was unspeakably beautiful. It opened up a path to see each other's spirits, my dog and I. Everything was there. It was his soul- and I saw the sweet, gentle nature he possesses and our spirits met, they/ we saw each other. It was again, an ineffable experience of beauty. He is a gentle spirit currently housed in a dog. There's more, but I haven't the energy to continue, and as you likely know- these experiences defy words... don't they?