madmango

Possible trigger warning ⚠️ Background: I'm a 28 year old male. I've always struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and have acted on a few. This being said I typically have a negative outlook on life. So I've always been scared of psychedelics, up until recently I started exploring LSD, mushrooms,and whatever I could get my hands on. It's changed my life drastically. Due to a difficult trip on lsd I've stopped drinking and being a complete idiot and have turned my life around. Trip: This last weekend I was sitting at home with nothing to really do I decided to bust out the loons and chill. After a few loons took a few doses of k through a nasal spray (around 26mg a spray I took multiple sprays throughout the day) after some time of this mixture I decided to add some more intense psychedelics to this experience. I originally was going to take a tab of LSD but decided against it because it was mid day and I work early the next morning. So I decided to go with a smallish dose of 2cb. I snorted about 15 to 20 mg. This was fun and the visuals with the mixture was extremely beautiful but something was urging me for a more deeper experience and DMT came to mind I put on some meditation frequencies on YouTube. I then put on my trip hoodie as I knew some shit was about to go down. I took an extra dose of k and got a decently sized balloon ready ( btw I moderate my n2o dose quite well imo I don't just take it a fish out) I got comfortable on the couch put my hood over my eyes to have complete darkness and took a few breaths in from the n2o I then took a drag from my mod which has the DMT in it. The first drag at about 5 seconds and 55 watts didn't do much. I then took more n2o. I repeated this process a few more times and so some crazy visuals. It was like Aztec/Atlantis type vibe I continued my n2o DMT cycle and this geometric pattern started to form. This pattern/entity got right up in my face and just stared at me. It was beautiful and the presence of it was over powering. It then urged me to take more DMT. But not with word nor telepathically. But with energy and frequencies. I don't know how to explain it but I just knew it wanted me to take more and stop being afraid. So I took a huge drag from me vape. And the entity/pattern thing exploded in to the most beautiful geometric patterns I have ever seen. I mean it was so beautiful I started to cry. I felt this warmth in my heart and the pure love of the universe. It told me that I deserve to live and I deserve to be loved. That I need to accept myself. At this point I was straight up sobbing. Like I've never cried before. It then in same way or form embraced me and showed me what self love and acceptance is all while showing me the beauty of the world universe love selflove etc. it was all balled up into one feeling. And then it slowly started to fade all this is happening as I was dosing n2o. When I returned to my living room a had a complete breakdown and cried for the next 2 hours just astonished and thankful to be alive. 5 days after this experience I still feel that love and warmth and I've been doing whatever I can to spread it. To those of you that may need it, you are loved and I'm happy that you are still here!!!! Much love and thank you to all for reading