The Writer's Torment is a collective space to showcase, poetry, short stories, screenplays, and written songs. We will have group poetry building exercise to collaborate
The Writer's Torment is a collective space to showcase, poetry, short stories, screenplays, and written songs. We will have group poetry building exercise to collaborate new masterpieces, and make writing less tormenting.
Hello, i am Dave. I am new. Here is a short story about a dissociative called DXM.Hooked
Chapter 1
I look to the right, space, the left more darkness. Out here you can't see the stars. As I'm flo... View MoreHello, i am Dave. I am new. Here is a short story about a dissociative called DXM.Hooked
Chapter 1
I look to the right, space, the left more darkness. Out here you can't see the stars. As I'm floating I am completely content, thinking about the aloneness. Aloneness is different from loneliness. The desolate waste that is my body begins to freeze and my eyes glaze over.
The thoughts and sensations of feeling, rush back into my body. It feels like vibrating rusty nails under my frail skin. I take a deep breath, expanding my entire body and shattering the ice film that had formed around me. I open my eyes for what feels like the first time. A giant, space colored, figure appears. I feel like I can move, so I try, success. I float closer to the object, and graze my hand against it's dark blue metallic body. "It's huge." I whisper in bewilderment.
It flows through space slowly. I travel with it for a long time. Then it stops. I lose grip on it, and begin to float uncontrollably through space. Again beginning to freeze, my skin burns and solidifies. I see a light at the edge. The darkness becomes darker as I float toward the light. I begin to melt again. I start floating downward, and rest my feet on black glass like floor. I take a step, and the black floor moves like waves. I walk to the edge and look over to see a sun.
"I went to the edge of the universe and jumped off. Died an infinite amount of times, before circling the sun and entering orbit and burning into the soil, raised only by the hands of the reaper and the face of the devil... And they set me free."
Chapter 2
Since I was young I had stomach pains and migraines. It was always a search to try and fix my pain, but I suffered for years. Until I was 21... then I found my relief. Alcohol was my best friend and worst enemy. I'd drink at mid afternoon to late in the morning and then drive to work without going to bed. For years and years.
The pain subsided but was replaced with blackspots. Patches of memory I couldn't replace. Moments in time forever lost. What did I do in those times? I could have hurt people, I could have said things I never would say... Who was I, when I wasn't me?
I met the love of my life and everything started moving so fast. I drank more and more and blacked out heavier than before. We were fighting and about to break up, I was down on one knee asking for her hand, we are having our darling child. "...How did I get to the hospital?... How did I get here?"
As my life fell to pieces I had to pick them back up. I kicked drinking. Everything was starting to look up, then the pain came back. "I need something" I'd say as I'm again laying in sickness unable to move. "I can't play with my daughter, I can't help around the house... I'll find something that helps."
Chapter 3
It felt like my brain was splitting. My body shook and vibrated as five shadows tore out of my torso, bending like a black blurred human tree. My eyes seeing every vibration tracking earth in a matter of milliseconds and back into my skull. My very existence is being challenged, and I truly don't know if I was winning.
It certainly felt like I was losing. My body tensed and curled inward. Stomach writhing in internal hell, my head in agony of souls left unkempt. The debilitating body pain as my molecules start to tear in two.
A split second later, I'm sitting on my couch. My child playing in front of me, and her right next to me. "What?" I mutter as I look around. How can this be? I was just at work. No, I was camping. No, we were in the air flying to Europe. No, we were... We were, here. What was real? What is real?
"So when I was tripping, from what I remember anyway, I ventured in 3 to 5 different parallels at the same time. It felt like I shared or 'hacked' these other conscious minds. It felt so real, like scenarios I'm capable of being in. It wasn't like 'cars were flying' or 'aliens invaded Earth.' It was just a matter of lifestyle."
Chapter 4
I craved this lifestyle, I needed to feel like this all the time. I was invincible. I'd take them and my body and mind felt better than before. All the depression dissipated and I had energy to spend with my family. I will never come down.
Thrown back into reality, she is in front of me screaming "You aren't you! I need you back!" Snapped back to space, completely forgetting the previous thought. I look at the empty black and smirk, but feel my neck burning. I turn around and see a fireball hurling towards me. I close my eyes and relax as I feel the heat melting my skin. I laugh and let go. When I open my eyes the water from the shower feels cold on my face.
The white walls seem dimmer than usual, and the steam makes it hard to see anything in front of me. Debating on whether I washed my hair already or not, I fumble looking for the body wash. I fall hard on my tailbone and feel a reaction in my spine, but no pain. I smile and stand up. "That's what I'm talking about" I giggle and finishing washing myself.
Chapter 5
Work flashes by as I smile in place. Then everything in my peripheral vision begins to blur and streak. Suddenly I'm home... "Hi babe" I slur to her. She turns in slow motion, face shadows flow from her movement. We meet eyes and her face blurs again as it turns back to the TV.
I open my eyes as my guitar amp blares feedback screeches directly into my skull. I tear my headphones off and try to unscramble my brain. A million thoughts and memories being downloaded, like jolts of lightning directly to the muscle. I hear one thing for sure, her words from earlier. "Who are you?"
I fumble for my phone in the pure dark, the screen blinds me when I find it. "3a.m.? I was just at work." My bladder is full and I rush to the bathroom. Standing over the toilet the intense pressure pushing down on everything sensitive, I can only manage a light burning stream. Frustrated I come back to the room and grab my phone. "7a.m.?! I'm late for work." I grumble startling her awake.
I throw my work clothes on and run to the car. "Shit, I forgot to say goodbye" I mutter as I take my daily handful. "It takes an hour to kick in, by the time I get there I can re-up and be golden for work." I plan out with a smile.
Chapter 6
I open my eyes. "It's cold here." I say to myself watching my breath float through the air like a smokers first puff. I'm aware, at this point, that I left my body driving somewhere... But I didn't care. I had no pain, and no worries here. "This is different" I whispered to myself as I swim through the air. After a while of paddling and flipping I hit a wall. "What?" I exclaim turning and putting my hand on a warm moist sponge like mass.
Suddenly I'm sucked to the wall. Stuck there I listen. "Is it beating?" I ask myself. Left with nothing to hold on to and gravity seeming to kick in, I fall, sliding straight down and landing with a splash. I stand up and gather myself, shaking off the thick liquid. "What is this place!" I yell starting to panic. I look at my hands now sizzling and the bones of my finger tips ripping out. As my skin melts away, my life flashes before my eyes. Dying feels like a familiar eternity.
The flesh on my face melts away leaving my already bloody eyes from brain swelling spewing out of my eyeholes. Chunks of muscle fall off my body and splash even more bile on me. With nothing left, my skin and muscle in a bloody pile at my feet, my skeleton still stands. "Even if this shell falls, my bones will haunt your memories."
Chapter 7
"Yeah, just pulling in now" I say pulling into a hotel. "This weekend should be cool, it's paid." I say to her about to hang up. "Ok baby, I'll call you later. I love you." I put my cigarette out in the ashtray, grab my suitcase bag from the front seat and walk in my room.
"Ugh, finally" I exclaim as I take my shirt off and throw it on the chair. I walk toward the shower as take my pants and socks off, leaving them stretched all over the floor. The shower is nice and warm today. As I dry off, I look in the mirror, pupils black. Finally being alone from married and kid life, for a little bit anyway, is a relief. I say "It's just me and you now" smiling I dry myself off.
I walk to the bed and reach in my suitcase, take a handful of pills. A couple hours before my work event, I am sitting droned out in front of daytime TV. "Good Lord" I say in disappointment as I look for something else to watch. I grab my phone and tissues and reach I'm my pants.
Chapter 8
The living room is dark. I look to my right and there she is. I reach over and touch her cheek. "Real" i whisper as she opens her eyes and they connect with mine. I kiss her passionately and massage her body. Both squirming in pleasure, I grab her legs and throw her around me. I'm ready to go so I take it out and enter. My head rolls back, my eyes close.
My eyes open. The space with walls is getting smaller and smaller and starting to touch my shoulders. I crouch feeling the dagger of claustrophobia. I curl into the fetal position just keeping my face above the bile. The beating becomes louder and faster. *BOOM BOOM BOOM*. I cover my ears and scream, tensing every muscle. My eyes close.
My eyes open, I'm sweating and out of breath. I look at her and she is blush with pleasure. I look down now limp and never feeling hard. Completely out of the mood I give her a kiss and stand up. Feeling sober, my mind thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, I try to take another leak. This time I feel a pressure in my lower gut. As I get dizzy, i throw the shower curtain open and tumble into the bathtub. Sweat drips off of my nose onto my hands now supporting me. Shaking my head trying to figure out how I got down her from up there, I crawl toward the shower drain. As I puke, I turn on the water and let it flow loudly.
Breathing heavily on all fours I drink from the shower faucet trying to get the taste of my death out. I open the shower curtain to find myself back in the hotel room bathroom. I walk to the bed and grab my phone on the desk. "Ok, perfect, a half hour 'til I leave." I pack my bag and load the car. I take another handful and sip on coffee. "Where'd I get this coffee?" I asked sipping in enjoyment. The cigarette smoke tastes amazing with the dark roast.
Chapter 9
Driving to the event I turn up the music, checking my GPS once in a while to make sure I get there. I start feeling that invincible happiness and smile. With music echoing in my ears and quietly daydreaming a motorcycle pulls up loudly beside me. The pop of his exhaust is jolting my brain in two. He passes me and I stare him down. When I look back at the road someone decided to play chicken.
I clinch my knuckles, turning white, and brace for impact. I flex my body and frantically search for an escape route, none look good. The motorcycle hit his front brakes to hard which caused him to come to a screeching halt balanced on the front wheel. The car swerves like mad, barely missing us, blowing in between by inches. The motorcycle falls, but with my adrenaline way up, I hammer the gas and take off laughing. I throw my head back and close my eyes.
Lightning jolts pass through my body. "I've felt this before" I think to myself. I open my eyes but can't move, stuck looking at the shower drain in my apartment. I wipe the puke from my mouth and throw water on my face. Fix myself up a little more, and walked out to the living room. I watch her sleep under the blue light of midnight infomercials. I smile, and take a handful. As I swallow I think about how many I had taken that day. "What day is it?" I say as I start convulsing.
I feel my heart beating slower and my muscles straining to keep me propped up. I reach and try to yell out to her, but couldn't make noise. I fall hitting the floor hard. I choke on air as the veins on my face and temples start pounding. Everything starts shaking, the vibrations in my eyes only throwing me in and out of reality.
"No, not now. I have to say goodbye to her. She has to know how I feel." Tears flowing from my eyes as they grow dim. "I will never get to watch her grow up." *Boom... Boom... Silence*. My heart stops but my brain holds conscious. Staring at her I fade, hearing a faint echo. I listen hard and deep, almost feeling like eternity. "This death upon which I am relieved of physical pain, but haunted by mental pain."
The echo becomes louder as my eyes become heavier and the dark becomes darker. "It's her" I say with a smile recognizing the voice. "She's come to hell hands first on white wings to pull me back to her heart." The voice repeats and becomes louder. I shutter as I form the words from her voice... "It's all your fault."
... My eyes close...