First delve into psychedelics

   First, I want to warn any readers that this may be a long winded report and to feel free to skim along if desired.
   I had moved to Denver the previous year and had no real intention to pursue these beautiful substances, but I will address this misconception later. My relationship with these substances has been changed forever. The opportunity came about as a coworker of my roommate at the time had gotten into many substances outside psychedelics. My roommate had taken a small dosage of mushrooms in high school and wanted to try them again and decided to ask them about getting a small dose. It was a couple months later, before we both visited family for Christmas that the mushrooms were in our possession. I put them on the scale and it ended up being .78 grams. Disappointed, my roommate says that with that little I might as well take them and try them for the first time. 
   I had listened to McKenna in my early college days but never really researched any dosage or effects or anything of the sort. I decide to eat them in melted chocolate because my roommate says they taste bad. I disagree with them now, but I digress. I take the dose and wait for about an hour with no sign of any high or effect what soever. I decide that it must be too small a dosage as my tolerance to cannabis and alcohol are very high. After 2.5 hours I finally get somewhat of a body high and a large spike of anxiety mixed with paranoia and decide to go to my bedroom and relax. 3 hours in and the episode of the trailer park boys I was watching starts to look like one of those artsy instagram filters has been placed over it. 
  At this point now, the journey is about to begin. All of the sudden I notice the laptop screen starts to bow upwards like a dividing cell, then spirals out clockwise into infinity. I took a second to contemplate the beauty but before I could really observe this fully I am surrounded by the most beautiful warm golden rays. I was now one with every human being in Colorado, then the US, then the world. I am experiencing both my own consciousness and that of the human race. Next I am every living creature on earth followed by the earth its self and the cosmos after. after this I dissolved into the golden rays of light and experienced what I can only describe as nirvana. I was pure existence and pure nonexistence. This nirvana experience lasted an hour but from dissolving into the light and coming back felt as though it were 5-10 seconds. 
   Once I come back to this realm, I feel a presence in the room with me. "Hello?" I ask, but did not see or hear anyone in the room and knew at this hour my roommate would be asleep. I was suddenly compelled to open around 5 YouTube tabs as if I was only an observer to my bodily actions. I don't pay much attention to this as I was still processing the beauty of nirvana.  Clearly out of the mess of audio comes out bits and pieces creating coherent sentences and I think to my self that I have lost it. That is when I noticed i was being talked to from the presence I was feeling and it felt as though I was telepathically communicating somehow through it all. after this realization I let go of control to the experience and start opening more tabs of text this time. Really random things but the communication would go from audio to text. I would see the page blur out and exact words across the page form the responses to my thoughts and questions. I then ask "why can everyone not experience something so beautiful and healing, wouldn't that make humanity better off?" I was quickly shot the response of "its hard enough to help individuals". 
   At this point in the trip it has been nearly 6 hours after ingestion. After I had soaked in all the events thus far, I think to myself  "why did I not try these sooner?" to which I was responded to by a voice "we have been here for you.". Now I am flashing through my life in visions of memory and low and behold the mushroom was there. This is what was meant at the start that I clearly had some intention, somehow, since birth. I see visions of me at 3-4 years old seeing mushrooms growing off animal dung in my yard, followed by several of me hearing about them from 5-16 years old then again when I was around 19 and a good friend mentioned that they grew behind the local college I had just signed up to attend that fall. Again when I was a sophomore and a gorgeous friend of mine I had a slight crush on mention how she would love to do mushrooms with me. I was shot back to this world and the voice said "we have been around waiting for you to come to us, this our gift.". Then I felt the presence leave.
   I look and it has now been 7 hours since ingestion. I was then getting a download of information about the nature of perception and the non-existence of time. I was given an odd insight into synchronicity and the power of our voice and actions as divine beings. I was told of secret things and then i started feeling the effects of coming down. 8 hours after ingestion and i am now back to normal, or as normal as one can be after such a spiritual journey.
   Before this experience I was very much an atheist leaning materialist. I was also fighting serious depression including suicidal thoughts until this experience. I struggled day after day, some nights I would have emotional breakdowns. After the experience though, I felt joy and optimism for the first time in my life since I was around 8 years old. It cleansed me of my depression and pessimistic self defeating life I had mentally crafted after years of negative experiences. I owe so much to this beautiful medicine and teacher and cannot express the love I now feel for life and all beings.
   Thank you reader for your time if you made it through this report. If you are feeling suicidal, please get help and know it gets better and brighter. I love all of you and hope you have a good day.