Intense Aya Ceremony

Well, i guess there always comes a time when medicine let's you know how small and insignificant you truly are. Just to remind you that orally taken deemz needs to be respected and not taken lightly. All other ceremonies we have made, were good and very spiritual. This time we decided to take little extra. We had two bottles, one with Harmala and other pure mimosa/acacia in higher concentration.We started dosing with one with Harmala. 45 minutes later, my buddy was already pouring 2nd serving from pure bottle, i was about to say it's too early, but him and his girl already took theirs, and so did our guest. I was last to go, so I figured I'm a big guy, I'll be ok and drank 2nd cup. We already had meditative music playing, and it was all relaxing.About 30 minutes later, both servings hit me at same time. By my calculation afterwards, based on amount of components and liquid amount in the cups, i gather it was about 200-250mg+ of deemz that descended upon me at once. That lag from 1st cup really did me in...I don't know how i ended up in absolutely bizarre visual of jesters riding theme park trains on mountains of train rails, up and down, up and down. I assume my subconscious got the angry jesters from watching Joe Rogan talking about jesters flipping him off in one of his trips? My body was dissolving into very unpleasant experience. I opened my eyes to try to get a grip. Often opening eyes, changing body position, and closing them again, allows to reset a bit. Omg, room looked crazy. I looked to my left at our guest to see how she was, and her face was "fractaling" out something fierce. I tried to ask her if she was ok, she said she wants a 3rd cup.I terrified as i was, i reached out for a glass on the altar. Was barely able to pass her a bottle. Leaned back to my seat, open eye visuals were getting ridiculous. I reminded me of the time i got back from my 1st Bufo trip, it was both comforting and very unsettling.It felt like an eternity, but i saw my friends were taking 3rd round, while i realized I'm still very deep in it 3 hours later. I'd give so much just to talk to somebody, like a lifeline to a drowning person... But we do not break for conversations. So i had to squeeze whatever will i could muster to endure in silence. I waved off that I'm not taking 3rd round.I felt it will never end... But it started to let off, and i ended up in very deep meditative state. Visuals were still going, but that "internal vice" that was squeezing me, was gone. I contemplated my life, remembering my childhood, seeing my present, and seeing my inevitable death. It was like my entire insignificant life was in a palm of my hand and i was looking at it as at as one looks at a funny rock found while walking on a beach... I felt immense pity toward myself and others. Unfortunately it wasn't compassion, it was pity and it wasn't a noble feeling at all.It's strange how usually i drink more than others and able to handle it. This time i took less and was barely holding on from sheer power of this molecule crushing very center of my being. One can ask, how somebody who went through 5-MeO experience, could be crushed so much by orally taken DMT? I guess now i know how it's absolutely possible.I cannot begin to fathom what medicine was trying to tell me that night, but i know that it must have some significant meaning that i am still to understand.