Trip #3: Frozen in time

I asked a friend to help me with a trip. He didn't know anything about it, so I tried to explain as much as I can what he needs to do and what I need help with.

I was sitting on my bed and my friend beside me with a timer to check how many seconds I’m holding my breath. Loaded my pipe and took the first hit. I lost count after 13, but in the back of my mind I knew I need to hold for a few more seconds. Within that time I felt that I was merging with the sofa I was sitting on. I felt everything around me. My consciousness was expanding. Hearing got distant as usual. I don't remember the second hit, or was it the second one, but when my friend helped me with it and took the pipe away from me. Then the time stopped completely. Like it was in slow motion and then stopped. I had forgotten completely everything, who I was, why I was there, how to breathe. I was just a point in time and a still image for as long as I could remember. It felt like 5 minutes, 10 minutes or more had passed and it was the same still image, him taking the pipe away from my hands and frozen in time. It felt like a memory of a life I had once. I remember at some point my friend helped me with another hit. Could've been the third one (he said I took 3 hits). Like I said, there was no time. I looked at the pipe, I couldn't distinguish my hands from his, because everything was merged into one. I tried to take a hit and I don’t know how did it go. Next thing I remember him saying "just in time". What? Why did he say that? Oh, is the trip over, have I just returned from the infinity? I saw him standing up, leaving a trail of layered lights behind him. Then another still image, and then another one of him waving his hand as I figured "hey, maybe I should lay down". I could’ve just stay like that because I couldn’t feel my body any more. But I laid down. I could feel the sofa physically, but I'd say it felt like falling into a fluffy cloud. My friend’s silhouette remained there for a while and all I remember was colors, geometric patterns, silhouettes and all into one big kaleidoscope. I remember thinking that I've forgotten everything trying. There was no me anymore. I tried  to calm myself down. It wasn't my voice in my head, more like my father’s voice saying "It's gonna be OKOKOKokokokokok... but  in such a strange sounding way. You know when a ball drops and make the sound? First hits with larger intervals of sound and then smaller hits till you just can't hear it more? It was like that. A bunch of other stupid thoughts came up and I don’t know why. It was chaotic. I thought of something, and it almost instantly appeared in front of me, but still with no concrete form. Like a thought was trying to form a visual, but there was not enough power to make a solid looking object. When I came to 20 minutes later I was looking at the ceiling and saw beautiful colors again. Suddenly I remember to breathe. I had to manually breathe, because even that I had forgotten. It was funny and weird that I’ve forgotten how to breathe. And this seemed like my first breath of clear air ever. Like when you’re born and take your first breath in this reality.

As I'm thinking about this and remembering the trip, I understood a few things. First... there is no time. Second... it's all in my head. This world around me is made up in my head and what I think shall be created. Third... things consist of light and vibration and this world is an illusion made by all of that. The light vibrates in such a way that the world appears solid, but in fact the world is not solid. Fourth... or this relates to first one actually... it all seemed like a memory. Like there was once a guy who had a friend who helped him to smoke DMT one day etc. Or even like a dream. Like everything I was, everything I did before was a dream and so long ago who even cares. Didn't remember anything else much and no breakthrough, but I'm happy with my experiences so far.

01.09.2019