REACHING AND TRANSCENDING MADNESS. Second Trip With 'Holy Childrens' (Pilocybe Mushrooms).

♦     I think remember it was a couple of grams of dried mushrooms. I don't know the variety, but they were small and with a thin and elongated stem. The experience was with two friends, we ingested the mushrooms, swallowed them down with some water, spent approximately 30 minutes at home listening to music and smoking some weed, and went out into the street.

♦     There I began to notice tingles that ascended through my legs to my belly, and a subtle change in the self-perception of my body, which led me to move a little slower and with a certain wiggle, we giggled. We went down some long and intricate stairs, upon reaching a clearing, one of the two friends vomited loudly, then he said that while vomiting, had seen a hindu deity waving her multiple arms, or Shiva dancing, now I don't remember. I began to appreciate how a rainbow crest emerged from the streetlights, I perceived a clear decomposition of the light, and a very elegant enhancement, in the shape of a palm tree, of the beams of light. As I followed the path, I was mesmerized as I walked, passing by the school where we had studied as children, I could fluidly appreciate the three-dimensionality of that complex architecture, due to the overlapping of forms. I had no doubt that the psilocybin was already working, and that it was going to be a very visual trip.

Dancing Shiva statue.

♦     We followed the path, until we reached a place, a kind of street/parking, which we called the airport. At that moment, the effect was already palpable, the three of us felt it and seemed to be in tune, we were disconcerted, I perceived a kind of unevenness in the street, it was as if at the maximum unevenness point, there was a powerful gravitational force that pulled us, the result of an increased sensitivity, of all our senses: perception of the body, balance, sound, touch, smell, sight...

♦     We started the way back home, along the way, I felt as if the three of us were somehow encapsulated inside a cube, or as if it oscillated gently around us, as if our energy fields had intertwined and formed a larger one.

♦     Climbing the stairs this time in that state, became in a certain aspect like an adventure. When we arrived home, I got ready to penetrate the lock of the door with the key, and then, I perceived what was possibly the most powerful visual that I have ever experienced, with my eyes open: that great door of noble wood, became a kind of wobbly door, translucent, with purple tones, iridescences, sparkles, and with a light quality from another world. Various shapes, like symbols, and faces of elementals and devas of nature, emerged from it. It seemed that the contact between the metal of the lock and the key, together with my hand the rest of my body (being the psilocybe spirit, which were now linked to my neuroendocrine system, responsible for the union), had caused the opening of an electromagnetic portal where my fungus awareness, together with the memories of the wooden door, had fused for a few moments, through the metal as conductor/amplifier (let me have a certain para-scientific delirium).

Trying to recreate the vision.

♦     Once inside the house, everything became overwhelming, I think for the three of us (although, in my case, it was the second trip, the friend who vomited was already quite experienced, while for the other, my neighbor, it was his first trip, and he certainly had a scared face). In my bedroom, with the two buddies, I experienced again that vision or sensation in which space-time was like a multidimensional cube. I remember the three of us on the balcony. I felt quite dizzy and hot, as if I had a fever that wasn't entirely unpleasant. I entered a deep relaxation leaning on the railing, and suddenly I felt how a sweet rain began to caress me, I didn't move for a long time.

♦     There was a point in the night when we got ready to go to sleep. First, the three of us lay down on a folded-out sofa bed, in a kind of guest room, trying to relax. The walls of that room were an intense white, a perfect canvas where small faces and figures began to appear that formed a kind of irregular fractal pattern, similar to that of the arid floors, or trencadis mosaics. The figures were like moais, totems, ethnic, racial faces, with strong primitive connotations, of various appearances: carefree, funny, meditative, dreamy, concentrated, serious, angry, melancholic, dejected... They were like spirits of nature, manifesting themselves in a sort of semi two-dimensional frame. The chromatic and light finishes were impressive. However, the feeling was just as pleasant as disturbing, since I never experienced anything like that before. The vision only lasted a moment.

♦     Obviously, it was too early to fall asleep, there was still a long journey ahead. I started to feel a little overwhelmed, and I went to the living room, the friends stayed in the guest bedroom. I sat on the sofa. In front, there was a stone wall, with the same irregular pattern with which the faces in the previous vision appeared. In this case, as the wall already had its own real patterns, figures did not appear in a clear and defined way as before, however, it was as if the same faces could be insinuated in the natural geometry of the stones, as elementals of nature camouflaged in the rocks, something like a pareidolia effect.

A photo of the stone wall that I have mentioned, processed with Deep Dream Generator, with which I try to exemplify the visions I am talking about.

♦     Emotions and sensations rooted in fear began to disturb me, I felt 'trapped' and anxious inside the house. I proposed to the buddies to go for a walk, but they sensed my fear, and were in a different mood. I decided not to infect them with my own projections, and I went to my bedroom alone. It was somewhat messy, especially because of poorly folded and placed clothes. At that time of high sensory sensitivity, I realized the importance of order, harmony, hygiene, feng shui, etc. How it can influence the emotional state hugely.

♦     At that time, the trip was enough intense for me to decide to go to bed in the dark, only with the light of the TV, and the volume very low, almost imperceptible. I remember how the subtle sounds of the television generated an atmosphere, sometimes euphonic, sometimes cacophonous, where every nuance of the sound was clearly perceived, and the voices and music had an enormous impact on the mood.

♦     In the darkness, light was made. I remember several visual perceptions, with my eyes half-closed and closed. A vision that captivated me, again, had to do with the appearance of totem-type faces, but this time the visual was tremendously clear and lucid, I had my eyes closed. It was a kind of two-dimensional perspective plane, where a multitude of these figures appeared, this time most of them very funny. All of them formed a kind of pattern in the form of labyrinthine paths, like spirals, but not curved, in a straight line, forming 90 degree angles. The colors were similar to the vision of the door, blue, purple (although I think remember also gold), all very crystalline and iridescent. But the most impressive thing of all was to discover that, with my mind's own intention, I could enter inside that incredible fractal architecture composed of sensory organs (eyes, noses, ears, mouths), which insinuated ancestral faces, all with a wonderful translucent finish, a world of light. As I entered, to my surprise, there was an infinite fractal continuity. Within the faces were more shapes and faces, and the labyrinthine structures went on and on, as far as my consciousness could sustain the vision.

Fractal patterns. The color palette slightly resembles that vision, but not so much the shape and details of the faces, yet it gives a general idea of the visual.

♦     There was a point, in bed, that an intense feeling of fear took hold of me. I was literally hallucinating, it was something new for me, and a lot of traumas from the past came through. Fear of madness, of being alone, etc. Nevertheless, I faced all the disturbing sensations and emotions that appeared, and formulated a kind of decree, more with the own intention of consciousness than with words, although, I can remember one thing very clearly, I thought: "What is real? What is unreal? What is real and what is not? Everything and nothing". Everything and nothing is real. Nothing and everything is unreal." In addition to countless synesthesias linked to certain visions, which led me to a certain degree of orderly, omniscient thought, like canalizations. I reached a turning point, where all my fear, which I felt palpable in my body, began to fade and be replaced by a natural feeling of peace, bliss, joy, tranquility, well-being. The natural state, where the mind finds balance. At that moment, the great vision appeared. 

♦     First I found myself in front a spectacular view of a tropical landscape, an abundant jungle, with a blue sky, but the colors and light were of a higher level. The view was from a high perspective, as if I were viewing the jungle from a lofty mountain, or as if I were floating in the air, like a disembodied consciousness. Almost instantly upon the appearance of these beautiful landscape, countless transparent spheres began to arrive, like bubbles, with a crystalline appearance. These were placed elegantly intertwined with each others, forming a huge pattern of life, resulting in six-pointed stars. Of course, the transparent pattern was visible with the landscape in the background, or together. It was as if the spheres had come out of the landscape, or the pattern was the very matrix of all creation of life, of all that luxuriant vegetation, fruit of the seed of life, the primordial pattern that gives birth to everything, the genesis. The effect that this vision had on me went far beyond the purely sensory, it was as if I had understood for a few moments all the secrets of creation everywhere. I hadn't even researched the sacred geometry of the flower of life before (The Ancient Secret Of The Flower Of Life), but it was as a result of that vision that I began to investigate, and to draw that pattern by myself.

Stars of life, omniscient understanding of consciousness. An attempt to recreate that wonderful vision, which hardly reaches it.

♦     After the vision, I got out of bed and went to open my bedroom door to go see the buddies, and right on the other side I found them, they were coming too. When we met, the first thing I said to them was: "I have experienced the complete knowledge of existence for a second." They were stunned. From that moment on, the trip started to smooth out, the friend who threw up at the beginning of the trip went to sleep on the sofa in the living room, and my neighbor and I stayed in my bedroom. We tried to roll a joint, I think it was the joint we took the longest time to roll ever. I tried to explain to him what I saw and felt, we were talking about different things, he told me that he saw the apparition of Mexican skulls while he was in the guest bedroom. We went to the kitchen to drink some orange juice, there the neighbor saw a succulent type plant, which he said he saw transform into a kind of tangle of Medusa snakes. I also remember seeing how his face was distorted in a spiral, like in a Picasso painting. Finally, almost at dawn, we went to sleep, it was an intense night. The next day, I had a lot to assimilate, my visual and acoustic perception, and all the senses in general, were energized by the power of psilocybin for a long time, and my perspective of reality had definitely been reborn.

Collage of different photos and designs of traditional Mexican skulls.

On the left, 'Buste de Femme 43'. On the right, 'Mujer sentada, vestido azul'. Both works by Picasso.

Scene from 'Scary Movie 3', which reminds me of my neighbor's vision.

♦     Say that I have relied on the help of a translator, since I do not speak much English, so it's possible that there is something that sounds weird. Also comment, that I wanted to relate this experience for a long time, (more than four years ago from this trip), due to the transcendental and cathartic effect it had on me. I have tried to be the most synthetic when writing this, but I have quite a few memories of that night because I have remembered it a lot, and there are infinite details in my head and sensations in my heart, so dear reader, I hope you enjoyed this report, although it may have been somewhat long and intense reading.