I tried to have a breakthrough which I not been successful in doing from the start, like day one although day one I think I came pretty close I found telling him I'm sorry I don't know how I got here is to happen, that might have been a breakthrough it's pretty heavy so I guess it was but since then I haven't had a breakthrough so tonight I needed effort to push past it and then shit got weird. The whole half of my room turned black like charcoal as if it were burnt or like black licorice there ...