Jboney

Title: FAILURE TO LAUNCH LEADS TO MIND SHATTERING DMT-LIKE EXPERIENCE AND SOME BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS. PRE-CONDITIONS: Set (mind): Calm, focused, ready... or so I thought. Set (physical condition): In the process of coming out of winter hibernation. Slight depression, vitamin D deficiency. Setting (location): At home, mostly upstairs in the bedroom. Time of day: Early afternoon, overcast and around 40°F. Recent drug use: None. Even stopped microdosing for a couple weeks to ensure no tolerance issues. Last meal: Breakfast burrito @ 12:30pm. PARTICIPANT: Gender: M Body weight: 235lbs/106kg Known sensitivities: none History of use: Novice level psychonaut. 4 previous mushroom trips @ approx. 3-3.5gr. Five low to moderate dose DMT experiences (10-20mg, no breakthrough). BIOASSAY: Substances: P. Cubensis PES Amazonion, lemon juice, ginger tea, honey. Dose: 4gr dry ground mushroom, 2oz. lemon juice, 6oz. Ginger Aid tea, one tablespoon honey. Method of administration: LEMON TEK 1. Grind mushrooms to rice sized pieces. 2. Put ground mushroom in coffee filter and staple shut like a tea bag. 3. Put bag in coffee mug and soak with lemon juice for 30 minutes. 4. Add 6oz. hot water and steep for 30 minutes. Stir and squeeze bag often to extract maximum psilocybin/psilosin. Remove bag and hand squeeze all remaining liquid into mug. Discard bag with spent fruits. 5. In a separate tea cup make a cup of Ginger Aid tea, steep for five minutes, dispose of tea bag. 6. Pour ginger tea into coffee mug and add 1 tablespoon honey. Stir until honey is fully dissolved. 7. Down the hatch and buckle the fuck up. EFFECTS: Administration time: T=2:50pm Duration: 5 hours First effects: T=3:00pm 1st Peak: T=3:05pm-3:26pm for approx. 21min beginning 15 minutes after administration. 2nd Peak: T=3:26pm-6:00pm 3rd Peak: T=6:15pm-7:00pm Come down: T=7:00pm-8:00pm Baseline: T=8:00pm Intensity (overall): 4 = Extremely Evaluation / notes: The first peak was unbelievably intense. The second and third were less intense but still a high 3. OPTIONAL: Pleasantness: 2 Unplesantness: 2 Visual Intensity: 2 AFTER-EFFECTS: Hangover: 3 - Physically and emotionally exhausted with a slight headache for about 24 hours. Hard to judge time or do math. Motor skills slightly hindered. Afterglow: 4 - Got the reset I needed and then some. Worked through a lot of emotional trauma from childhood. Still feeling it 7 days later. REPORT "FAILURE TO LAUNCH" This whole crazy ride was set off by a "failure to launch" the day before. A good friend had gifted me 1.5g of Pan. Cyans and I was excited to try them out. So I planned out my trip, prepared myself and my house, set my intentions, and made a tea from them (no lemon tek). When the brew was ready I set the tea bag with the fruits aside. I've been having some stomach issues in past trips and I read somewhere that it may be the chitin so I decided I'll be brewing tea and discarding thre fruit bodies. I was a little nervous because I've read that Cyans can be 2-3x more potent than cubes but I was ready to let go and accept whatever experience they gave me. Unfortunately they gave me nothing more than a small boost in perception. A little more than the effects I get from a 100mg microdose of cubensis. After a couple hours of waiting I decided to ingest the fruits that I had set aside after making the brew, thinking that maybe the psilocybin never made it out into the tea. Another couple hours later, still nothing, I was completely sober. I'm still not sure what happened that day but honestly I'm glad it did happen. The resulting trip the following day was on a level I didn't think I would ever reach. It definitely made up for the disappointment I was feeling. THE NEXT DAY.... Having done a nice practice run the day before I was feeling pretty confident about my set and setting. I really felt like I was ready to go a little deeper than I have before. My biggest dose thus far was 3.5g of cubensis w/ lemon tek. This was my first ever mushroom trip about 3 years ago (xmas day 2017) and it changed my life in so many amazing ways. I've had a few other trips since then and they were good, but nowhere near as profound as the first one. I didn't think I was ready for 5gisd yet so I decided on 4g of cubensis w/ lemon tek. I thought it would be a nice stepping stone on my way to "The Hero's Journey". It ended up being more like a fucking slingshot that launched me far beyond what I thought I was ready to handle. I could be wrong, because I still haven't experienced 5gisd, but I think that might be a walk in the park after this one. LOADING UP THE SLINGSHOT.... I finished making my brew and began sipping it at 2:50pm. I went into the living room to do some stretching/meditation while waiting for the come up. I finished my dose pretty quickly since it actually tasted pretty good. Around 2:55pm I set my mug down and continued my normal stretching routine. All of a sudden I noticed that my hands were getting clammy and I was feeling a little intoxicated, like I had just pounded a few shots of liquor. My heart rate was increasing and there room started to gently breath around me. I rushed through a few more basic stretches and abandoned the rest of the routine. I got up and walked into the kitchen and kissed the wife and baby and told them, "I love you... I'm gonna go upstairs now"...... SLINGSHOT, ENGAGE.... I half stumbled up the stairs at just after 3:00pm. There would be no more stretching, there would be no meditating... no more time for preparation. Shit's happening very fast. I managed to change into my favorite tripping shirt and got myself into bed. What happened over the next 20 minutes is still very cloudy in my mind. But I'll try to remember as much as I can. I definitely remember the sounds and body sensations that usually accompany a dmt blastoff. The box fan in the corner of the room seemed to be revving itself up and down like a car engine, but in a glitchy computer kind of way. Or like when a CD would skip. I don't know, I have a hard time describing this sound but it happens every time I smoke dmt. Then came the wall of dmt-like visuals. Like a flowing curtain of soft orange and red grid lines with constantly morphing and changing images in the boxes. At this point I was no longer in control of my body. I don't think I was even aware that it existed. I remember it being very intense, like a dmt blastoff, but a little slower. I may have passed out, because I can't recall much if what happened between then and when I reopened my eyes. All I remember is the feeling that I had just experienced all of time and space in it's entirety. It seems like I had a full on dmt breakthrough. I don't know how long my eyes were closed. I'm guessing about 12-15 minutes. But I can remember the process of returning to my body, this dimension, this reality, this..... frequency? I felt like I was some sort of wave, like maybe a radio wave? And I was tuning myself in to the correct frequency to find my way home. I was made up of these incredibly vivid colored lines that seemed to span the width of a galaxy. This was an incredible feeling that I don't think I'll ever forget and I hope I get to experience it again. I felt so free. Then when I was finally back I opened my eyes. I was exhausted. Body, mind, and soul. I was reminded of the movie Inception, towards the end of the movie, when Leo's character met with the asian guy who was stuck in the lower level for like 10,000 years. He had seen so much time go by and was so old and tired. Then when they finally woke up on the plane he had this look in his eyes. Like he had just experienced 10,000 years in a matter of minutes. I feel ya buddy. At this point I still had all the knowledge of life and the universe. It hadn't been stripped away yet. There were no unanswered questions. It was a good feeling, and I basked in it, and I loved every second of it. But I knew that it was temporary. You can't bring it all back with you. That's just not how it works. It would be like playing a video game on easy and turning on God mode. It's cheating, and you would get bored pretty quick. I have a theory on this. I haven't quite found a good way to explain it clearly but I'll try: ugh I don't know where to start... Ok, so you know how sometimes when you go deep into a psychedelic experience you will leave your physical body and travel to other places with only your spirit, or soul, or consciousness... whatever you wanna call it. I have now experienced this twice. When I am free of the confines of the human body it seems like I am instantly enlightened with the knowledge of everything. It's not overwhelming in this state. Everything seems so simple, and it seems like I've known it all along, but for some reason I just didn't have access to the information when I'm sober. And then when I'm descending from that plain and returning to my physical form, all the knowledge is slowly stripped away. But not really. It's seems to me that it's still there. It's more like there's a filter, or rather, multiple filters that are applied to your consciousness. The function of these filters is to restrict access to certain information and thought processes. I think that mushrooms, depending on size of dose, have an effect on these filters. Like a microdose can sometimes pull the first few filters and kinda clean the dust out of them. This usually results in heightened perception and clearer thought process. At least it does for me. Then let's say you take a 1g dose. Another handful of these filters are removed and you're able to see, hear, feel things that you can't normally. Now when you strap on your psychonaut helmet and take a heroic dose these filters don't stand a chance. They are completely removed for the duration of the peak experience. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but I like the idea of it. I'm looking forward to my first lsd experience so I can see if this theory applies to that medicine as well. Anyway, back to the trip report... Time was still very distorted and confusing. I really wanted to pick up my phone from the nightstand next to me and see how much time had passed but I wasn't fully tuned back in yet. My body was still in the same position it was when I first layed down all those millions of years ago. On my right side with my head on my pillow. I looked at my right hand that was laying there on the pillow in front of my face just a few inches away and I did that thing you do when you want your hand to move. I could feel the message being sent from my brain to my hand. The order to open the fingers, move the hand to the phone, and close the fingers around it. But the message wasn't recieved, nobody home, that wasn't my hand. Not right now. It used to be, and it will be again soon, but right now it doesn't follow my orders... lifeless. It even seemed to have a grayish color to it. Like it had been without life for quite a while. But this didn't upset me. I knew what was happening and I knew that I just needed to be patient. What's a few more minutes right? No big deal. Time, like pain, is just an illusion... While I was waiting to regain control of my body I closed my eyes again and although I don't remember the adventures I went on in my mind I get the feeling I really enjoyed them. Then, finally, I was able to move again. I reached out and grabbed my phone fully expecting to see the time somewhere around 5 o'clock. Nope... 3:26. Remember, I laid down at 3:05. At first I was so confused. But then I found it hilarious. Time is a funny thing. THE RECOIL.... The following sequence of events is very unclear to me still. I remember some things, but I can't seem to put them in the correct order in my mind. So I'm just going to list some things that I remember happening until I find my place on the timeline again. - I spent a lot of time lying on my bed speaking in what seemed to be some kind of lost ancient language (maybe something close to Latin? I don't know, I only speak English usually). This was completely beyond my control and I couldn't stop the "words" from coming out of my mouth. It was on par with a demonic possession you'd see in a shitty exorcism movie. It didn't seem to be just random jibberish though. I was really enunciating and acted like I knew what I was talking about. A lot of the conversation was directed at the light on the ceiling, I don't know what it did wrong but for some reason I think I was angry with it. I recall pointing my finger at it while I was berating the poor thing. During this time there was a lot of rolling around on the bed and these intermittent convulsions. Like stomach cramping, but I don't think it was painful. I would curl up in a ball for like 5-10 seconds, then release. It felt like I was purging something, like some negative energy. I know that I felt better when it was over. I don't understand it but these things have happened to me on a previous 3.5g trip. That time I was pretty afraid while it was happening, but it didn't bother me this time. I just accepted it as a part of the experience. - At one point I really wanted a cup of tea. This was beyond my abilities for a very long time. I lost count of how many times I walked up to the tea pot and had no idea how to work it. Then when I finally figured out that I'm supposed to put water in it, I had no idea where to get the water from. (The teapot was sitting on the counter top, about 1ft away from the sink). At least an hour went by with me walking up to the teapot, staring at it blankly, then walking back to lay in bed... over and over and over again. It was very frustrating, but I was able to laugh at myself for it. - The next craving I had after the cup of tea was an incredible urge to dive deeper into my mind with a 30mg dose of dmt. Now if I couldn't manage to put water in the damn teapot you can imagine how far I got with this little project. I believe it took me around 20 attempts to collect my jar of spice, my gvg, and mg scale from my nightstand and bring them to the table in the next room to weight out my dose. The pull was incredibly strong. I was convinced that this dose of dmt would be the key to my ascension from this realm to the next. I wanted it so bad. But I just couldn't figure it out. Again, like the tea, this was very frustrating. I was very disappointed that I couldn't make it happen. But I got over it. By the time I was able to function well enough to weight out the dmt dose I realised that I was far to exhausted to handle it. - Eventually I made my way into the guest bedroom on the west side of the house and was greeted by the beginning of a beautiful sunset. There were multiple layers of clouds scattered across the sky at different elevations and they were all catching the light in their own incredible way. A strong wind out of the south was pushing some of the lower altitude clouds across the scene as they tumbled and morphed constantly into different shapes. Side note: When I pulled my gaze away from the awesomeness that was unfolding above, I noticed that the grassy lawn below was formed into fractal patterns that seemed to be spinning and dancing in a very pleasing way. Anyway, I felt like this was to good to keep to myself so I bravely but cautiously reentered the "the real world" downstairs to see if the wife wanted to come check it out. Now at this point in the trip I was still barely able to function. I felt like I was relearning how to be a human. I was barely able to speak English and didn't fully remember how I was supposed to act around other people. I remember thinking that I didn't want to sneak up on her and startle her, but I also didn't want to make too much noise in case the baby was sleeping. So I tiptoed down the hall to the livingroom where she was sitting on the couch watching tv. I slowly peeked around the corner and... I'd like to think that a normal human being would just gently say "hey" or even a "psst". My barely functioning brain opted for making the two quick kissy sounds you make when you're beckoning a dog or something. Fuckin idiot.. lol Luckily she didn't hear me making a fool of myself so I went with plan b... "hi baby". Acting cool like that didn't just happen lol. Sorry I'm rambling now but I do want to mention how great it was when she brought the baby upstairs to watch the sunset. It was even more intense than before I came down to get her. I really loved looking at my 4 month old son as he looked out the window to behold one of our world's greatest gifts. His eyes were scanning the horizon as he happily cooed and smiled. A perfect moment. I believe they went back downstairs at around 6:15pm. At which time I was finally able to figure out how to work the damn tea pot. I also enjoyed an apple, a banana, and a couple clif bars. I spent some more time sitting at the table with my dmt gear spread in front of me, but I ended up getting lost in thought.... The house I'm currently living in is my grandparents old 1901 farm house. They are getting pretty old and I'm here helping them manage the farm. Grandpa bought the place in 1975 and I was born in 1980. I was just recently told by my grandma that my parents had lived here for a while when I was a baby. The revelation that my son was seeing this house as his first home just like I did when I was his age brought tears to my eyes. This made me feel truly blessed. Another beautiful moment. Then my thoughts turned to my parents. They were very young. Way too young. Dad was 17 and Mom was 15 when I was born. I'm almost 40 years old now, and these past 4 months of sleepless nights, changing diapers, warming bottles, and having almost no personal time to myself have been a bit of a challenge. At times a real test of patience. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for my parents, who were only children themselves. Dad bailed a few weeks after I was born. Went up to Alaska to work on a fishing boat to make some money to help support me. Ended up supporting the local drug dealers instead. At least that's what I was told. But Mom stuck it out and did the best she could. I've kinda thought about this a few times in the past, but it was really apparent to me in that moment how unbelievably difficult that must have been for her. I'm rambling again, but just have to say, I found a new appreciation for Mom and all she's done for me. Fuck man, another great fucking moment! Now I was starting to finally come down and regaining some functionality, and all I wanted to do was hold my baby boy. So I cleaned up everything upstairs, took one more look out the window in the guest room (the sky was getting dark and the ground was done dancing), and joined my perfect little family in the livingroom. I picked up my boy and held him to my chest. I could feel his energy coursing. It was like he was recharging my batteries. It was a nice way to wind down after an incredible trip. Thank you for reading, sorry if I embellished too much. I forgot to mention the fact that when I was deciding my dose and method of administration for this trip I didn't remember that lemon tek amplifies the potency 2x-3x in some cases. I now remember reading about it, but when preparing for this trip I only used lemon tek to combat stomach discomfort and shorten the duration. I really had no idea how fucking crazy this trip was going to be. But if I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing. What a great experience! I'm no longer afraid of 5gisd, in fact I'm very much looking forward to it.