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Digital_Hippie

Male. Born on February 15, 1991.

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Digital_Hippie

Status Update

Digital_Hippie

March 2, 2020 7:36 am

Oh my fricking god !! Haven't smoked DMT for 5 long days for mostly tolerance purposes and because was too tired every day after work, and been trying to get a hold of my buddy all day today, both wer... View MoreOh my fricking god !! Haven't smoked DMT for 5 long days for mostly tolerance purposes and because was too tired every day after work, and been trying to get a hold of my buddy all day today, both weren't sure if we'll meet up today or not, at midnight I got a message that 100% not tonight and we scheduled it for tomorrow around noon. I got home, all cool, full of energy, excited af, ran an extra heater in my room for 15 mins so my hand and feet don't feel too cold during the trip, meditated couple minutes, set everything up, turned the black light on, mixed my pure white and yellowish stuff together, light up the lighter, first hit is inside, while breathing it out I started feeling it, way to fast intense and crazy (one of those times when you feel where it's gonna get you after the first hit). I'm like - alright, we're playing hard this time, making my second one, while holding it I started getting scared that I'll be able to take my third one (moved all my inside energy on concentrating on no matter what, making sure I at least inhale my third one, at the same time fighting all the thoughts and physical feelings to let it go now), breathing out, barely here understanding what I'm doing finally greedily inhaling my third on (at the same time laughing that I made it and almost pissing my panties of excitement where it's gonna take me), putting the pipe down, relaxing my whole body and letting it do whatever it wants with me now falling back on my pillow, and .... My fucking budy starting calling me in in FB with this annoying FB ringing... My first thoughts - this is not happening ! It gotta be a part of the trip. But my phone keeps ringing and ringing... Only dmt entities know what it took me to get back up in sitting position and reaching to my phone, I don't see shit, trying to find where this ringing is coming from, with convulsions trying to press cancel, hitting my fingers all over the screen, and accidentally accepting a call for a second, one more second, and I finally hit that cancel button. All my life I knew that my buddy is a pretty smart guy, if I hit cancel, than it means that I can't talk at the moment, so I'm pushing the phone away from me, and barely alive and all my energy been drained falling back on the bed again, and can't move anymore. He is calling again, and again, and third time... This whole thing turned out into an endless loop in my head, and amount of explanations of why I'm being punished at this moment was just enormous. My whole trip was broken apart in hundreds of thousands pieces, subconsciously pulling out every single little bad thing that I've done to people or in general during my trip, and explaining that what's happening now, is a big punishment for every single one of them. One of my best trips for the last couple weeks turned out into an infinite moral and physical punishment of myself, my karma is completely clean, I'm pissed and not at the same time, but I'm sure that I'll be a better boy in the future for sure, and will try as much as I can not being an asshole to peope. Even it wasn't deserved - the lesson is learned, and I'm absolutely ready for another 5 days of tolerance break.

I wanted to write a little complaint, but looks like it turned out in almost a trip report as I was writing. Let me know if I need to move it to trip reports, but I want to document this day, so I can join weeks and months later and experience what I just experienced 20 minutes ago. My buddy managed to find time, came to my house at 12:30 and was calling me to see if I'll come outside to talk to him. Love him

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2 people like this.

Steven1138

Thats why i go to my bedroom and shut the door, without my phone, or any distractions. I cant even have anyone with me, i did once and it freaked me out

Like 1 March 2, 2020

Digital_Hippie

Ugh.. couldn't agree more. The scariest part was, when I've realized that there's no way on this earth, in this life, I'll be physically able to reach to my phone second time to cancel the call, I got that infinite feeling of being helpless, and being so sorry to myself for myself - in that moment I... View MoreUgh.. couldn't agree more. The scariest part was, when I've realized that there's no way on this earth, in this life, I'll be physically able to reach to my phone second time to cancel the call, I got that infinite feeling of being helpless, and being so sorry to myself for myself - in that moment I felt like I've been in that situation million times, this 3 seconds annoying ringing closed up in a loop and started going over and over again, my first thought was - ok, that's it, there's no way I can change this situation, I've already got myself into it, what's the most reasonable next step ? Accepting and agreeing with the situation, ok, I start to feel a little better, what's next ? Let's come up with a reason why that's happening to me (and in seconds I remembered all the bad stuff that I've been doing or saying for the last time, every single little mistake of mine had weight, and counted towards what was happening), so I've brought all this bad stuff in a pule in my mind and handed to the trip - here, here's all my bad shit, that's what I'm suffering for right now (and by acknowledging this, half of the pain went away), then I was like - alright, we're doing good, what else ? Next though was - I realize hiw much bad stuff I've done, and it's fair enough to be punished for that, let's take the punishment like a man (and another 20% of suffering fell off), and block by block I was taking this whole situation apart, until there was nothing left that I could connect with the logical chain, and at some point (while still tripping) I was like wait, all that is happening because my friend started calling me right at the beginning of the trip. And I just start laughing like a crazy, saying inside of me - no way you did this to me, no fucking way, what were the odds of him calling me at this very moment, no waaaay (and kept laughing almost crying lmao). So the come back was pretty bright and positive, I loved it ! But like you said - universe has a messed up sense of humor.. I almost want to print this word on a shirt or a hoodie now lol, but I'll better keep this lesson with me, so the my ass don't get whooped by the universe even harder next time =)

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Like March 2, 2020

Digital_Hippie

Steven - lesson about the phone will be 100% remembered now, you can be sure. I promise lol, not taking anything that can distract me anymore

Like 1 March 2, 2020