11:15:08 GMT-0600 (MDT)

It's been respectively 2 months since I've taken mushrooms. I always write down the amount date and time when i take them. These 2 separate events changed my life as well as the person here with me. I know it's a cliché thing to say "life changing" personally i feel it's a saying said to to often. For me i don't say it lightly. Some of you are privately in my life and know what has transpired during and after these events. What i/we went through was nothing short of torture. Personally i haven't had much desire to take them again. Which hurts me deeply. Mushrooms have always been in my life. That being said they still are. I've taken a different approach with them. As well as my advice for people when it comes to ingesting them. Up until these dates,i felt that everyone should take a oz at least once and record it. I always do(recording myself) Now i feel like I've been wrong. Taking an oz is NOT for everyone. The repercussions of that will last forever. Nearly 2 months later i still randomly will hallucinate and see things whether I'm sleeping or wide awake. This is not ideal when driving.While sleeping I'll wake up visually tripping reliving those times begging for it to stop. This is not fun. I also realize i got what i wanted on so many levels. My understanding of self is present. Especially my subconscious. Those things are locked away for a reason, rehashing them was not the best idea. Still i believe I'm mentally strong which is why i pushed as far as i did. I've learned. The horrors of these nights will ne forever burned into myself as well as my friend and dog. My poor dog. I was selfish. He can't communicate like we do. Seeing my dog cry while being helpless was the worst. Him and have a special bond those that know/met him understand that. He's forgiven me but won't forget. His life mission is to protect me so taking that away from him might as well of killed him. I'm not sure if I'll take mushrooms again in my life. That said they will always be a part of my life.S~