Last night we got a random "snow storm" and as i watched from my porch i was blown away by the beauty of my tree. This tree has comforted me many of times. I like to go sit and be encompassed in it. You can see the little opening it makes for me. This tree has been here for years and has survived. I feel a connection to it. While taking my dog for a walk this morning i took a picture of another tree. It was waving at me. It made me smile. The picture of my dog makes me smile. We have talked at quite lens over the past 3 weeks or so. I let him know that he's my my number one to infinity. He needs me to take care of myself. I took a little break from drugs. Everything. I am okay. I realize that my problem isn't with drugs as a whole but more along the lines with my willingness to sacrifice my happiness for others. Almost like I feel I have to. Over the past few weeks I've had some really positive interactions with people. We shared some special moments.In those moments it's helped me to realize that I'm not a horrible person is I thought I was. To me there's levels to being horrible and being bad. as long as I keep them to myself I think everything will be okay. I've had people reach out to me on here and I'm very thankful that everyone is taking the time. The last post I made on here was full of emotion and I got what I asked for. The universe really punished me. I went through a lot on that Wednesday night. More so than I could ever imagine,those of you that know and help me that night I am indebted to you for all eternity. You came along on a journey with me that you didn't ask for.what I went through that night I wish on nobody. I am not a victim, nor do I seek pity. Abuse is not okay mental or physical. I am a rather large size man I'm 6'2 250ish. My physical demeanor has a tendency to make people a little scared of me. That night on Wednesday the person in my life took advantage of the fact that I was on 21 g. The things that happened that night were what horror movies were made of. At the end of the day I'm alive and well and so is my dog.I share some of these things with you because it's important to realize the journey of life that we're on and how to not let it break us. Slish Eagle mighty Ben trip advisor, thank you so much. I write this for my couch with my dog next to me looking at my window, enjoying my home to myself. I feel good about wanting to take mushrooms I feel great about my intentions. I have a smile on my face. I'm going to redo my 21 g of ksss this morning. I have all people know how important it is to remove toxic people from our lives. I realize I can be overly hard on myself at times, I'm my own worst enemy and my strongest critic. As we all are. I've always felt like when the time comes we'll know what we're made of. That Wednesday night that I'm speaking of I realized the type of person that I am. I have no quit or defeat in me. Thank you all for your time I appreciate all of you. Habitformer---
In Album: Habitformer's Timeline Photos
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