Dmt experience

So I've sat on this trip in my mind for about 2-3 years now, a very mind boggling experience that has had me feeling like I'm still not part of this world but only in my head for a long while.. the molecule found it's way to me in the most beautiful form those tiny white shards and my friend told me to make sure to dab 3 fairly large hits when i planned on using it, taking his advice without a grain of salt not knowing what to expect ,except from hearing anecdotal experiences on errowid and reddit I decided why not give it a try.Figuring i had adequate level being that I've done tabs quite often in my teen years and mushrooms just about as frequently I would try this stuff out one day while I was home alone living at my girlfriends one day while she was gone at work.The day arose when I was feeling confident and I took the rig into the bathroom with me because I planned on doing it before I hopped in the shower(hearing that tripping in the shower makes you come out feeling very refreshed)I eyeball a scoop on my dab tool and begin to heat up my rig, then letting it cool down so I dont burn my hits the first one was intense to say the least from my eyes i could bearly see everything got shakey and i could immediately tell this stuff was for real my model of reality was shifting and distorting filled with orb like floating oev and frantically I tried my hardest to put another scoop on the tool managing to do so without being able to tell how much was actually on it because depth perception was basically a non existing thing at this point I take my second hit, losing most of my sense of self and setting down my bongs without being able to tell if my eyes were open or closed the feild of what once was vision was now coverd in swirling colorful shapery (best descriptive word that resonates with myself) shifting images play in my head for some seconds and I'm able to take my third hit not too long after with an impending feeling of being very very gone the last hit definitely did it a sense of intense velocity traveling upward or directional left my mind blank but with plenty of internal monolouge as I open my eyes to a completely altered state of reality not recognizing what I was doing or what had happend to be but a dreadful feeling that I was stuck somewhere I had never been looking into a mirror I seenouthing but a creature made up of arms and tentacles and was shocked full of frightfullness I anxiously try to undress to get in the shower and my pants grab my arms like a animate monster pull me into them and my face I struggle to escape there grasp and jump under the warm water and the feeling I'mleft with is terror what have I done when will this be over after sitting under the water in a practical fetal position my sense of self washed away with a feeling of only I can compare to having alzheimers like I'm loosing my mind or something is missing from myself this happens repeatedly untill I'm fully aware of it just being part of the trip but made me feel like I was stuck or gone completely....(I know others refrain from using first person when expressing there experiences it only makes sense because the physical form is lost completely but the only thing that's comparable to me and that would be not remembering who I was I probably would have had a better trip with leaving my eyes closed and letting the stuff shower me with whatever it needed to but I definitely fought this one and lost ) i can definitely say I learned from this experience however and I suppose that's all that really matters ...ps sorry for the very grammatically incorrect and poorly worded report I would love to have the amazing articulation that others do with there words but alas they just dont do this amazing stuff justice because its truly indescribable