My first ego death

So a couple weeks back I made mushroom tea from 3 grams of mushrooms, i put all three grams into one cup and drank the whole thing with some honey. Within ten minutes I was feeling it, hard, I was very positive based in just the first couple minutes of this come up that I was going to be tripping absolute balls, like possibly the hardest I’ve ever tripped. I was hanging out with my buddy’s for a few minutes before I went inside to hangout by myself because I usually like taking mushrooms alone, I was going for a very meditative type trip so being alone was kind of a necessity. What triggered my ego death was that I’ve been going through a lot of shit, dealing with my ex and my friends and all kinds of overwhelming drama that I knew I needed to work out in my head. I could feel my brain running into walls trying to think about things, I just couldn’t focus on anything and my thoughts kept shooting in so many different directions, It was so intense of a come up I had to strip down into my boxers and wrap myself in a blanket and just lay there shaking violently for at least 2 hours, it was absolutely terrifying. The conscious voice in my head that you navigate all your thoughts with kept altering, it was like talking to myself and then two seconds later talking to god, the pitch kept getting higher and lower and just doing the craziest shit, this was how I knew I was slipping into a different kind of trip, it was nothing that had ever happened to me, it was like my general train of thought was a fox being hunted by a pack of dogs, and eventually they cornered that fox and I slipped into this very indescribable void. I remember experiencing reality in a way that was not mental or physical, it was such a surreal feeling. I felt as if I watched every little part of my personality get picked apart and made fun of by some strange entities which very much seemed to be just other aspects of my ego or myself. I feel like such a goof trying to explain it because it was such an indescribable feeling, but I remember waking up just feeling numb, LSD has really shown me that nothing really matters, however this trip really introduced this concept to me, it’s not that nothing matters, it’s more or less that dealing with things can be hectic and hard and stressful, and you waste a lot of time worrying about shit you just don’t need to worry about, I just felt very empty like this trip had just taken not only all the happiness I felt I had, but all the sadness I thought I had, it just made me empty, which usually isn’t what I chase from psychedelics but for right now I don’t think I could’ve received a better message, I’ve spent months worrying about a situation that really doesn’t matter. Although it took a lot away, it gave a lot as well, this was one of the most liberating trips I’ve ever had, thank you for reading.