Trip Reports
on January 18, 2020
Like an egg being flipped in a pan, my stomach turns. As I look down at this piece of paper I can see every striation. I lift it up looking through it. I can see every single fiber that created it. I feel slightly cold. I'm yawning every few minutes. Everything around me is starting to feel strange. When I look outside there is no wind, but the trees are breathing back and forth oh so gently. I go out on the back deck. I feel intoxicated slightly when I walk. Similar to alcohol but different. Wow Mother Nature is alive. My hearing seems better. Its like a superpower. And even though my vision seems distorted I can see further with precision. I am watching this bird. I can sense its spirit. Ironically it comes right next to me. It has no fear. Neither do I! All of a sudden a hummingbird comes right next to me. What a moment for both of us. I can hear the incredible vibration from its wings. Similar to a piece of paper touching a high-speed fan. Is something special happening or am I just blind to these normal moments. Maybe a combination of both? I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Did I take too much? No, it's just a part of the process. Each time it's the same. Is this what a snake feels like to shed its skin? Does a butterfly feel uncomfortable when turning from caterpillar to butterfly? I wiggle my fingers and toes. It is uncomfortable. I feel like I'm going to explode. And then it happens. All is good. It's like a bursting love. I break through to the other side. This side is full of love and unity. There is no hate. I feel every single DNA strand inside of me. Its as if the molecules have split and I made it to the other side. negativity is on the other side of the bridge. I really like this side of the bridge. Where am I? what is this? I look at my hands. Am I really seeing every little skin cell that makes up my hand. And look at those veins carrying life through it. Red water pumping through my body supporting this biology. The colors around me have never been so colorful. I start to cry because it's so incredibly beautiful. As I am marinating in these overwhelming colors I noticed the music I put on earlier. It sounds so beautiful. Is it possible for my ears to cum? Is my vision and ears simultaneously meshing together. I've never felt so aligned with my ears and eyes. I sit out on the back deck shirt off, Indian style. The sun is soaking into my skin and the smell of fresh flowers resignate in my nose. My skin feels like its dipped in water, its the humidity. I can feel the exact humidity on the skin. I close my eyes and open my mind further. So many things rushing through my mind right now. What are we? What is our purpose? I need to eat better. Are there aliens? What is evolution? I need to be a better person. I know I can do better. Why don't we forgive each other. We all make mistakes. These walls I built need to come down. I can then move forward with my life. How silly I've been, it's been holding me back. I've never felt so determined to be fully aligned with my life. And then a new moment hits. What a miracle that I am here. Thousands of years and here I stand. One moment gone wrong and I am not here. Sabretooth kills an ancestor I would not be here. Millions of sperm cells and fate chose me. HERE I AM. A man. Strong as fuck. I am an Alpha. I am the end of the chain. I am the product of all these years. What a gosh darn miracle that is. All of a sudden I get a shiver up my spine and I have the overwhelming feeling someone is behind me. I turned around and there was a stranger I've never seen before picking up garbage. What did I just experience? I did not hear them or see them but I felt them. I am 100% sure that was a sense that I have never felt before. Was it a frequency? Is my head in antenna and it picked up the strangers frequency? What was that? Geez, what time is it? Oh my, I've totally lost track of time. Is time even a thing? Can time slow down or speed up? I've been sitting here for 3 hours. I'm fully committed to this 36 hours of alone time. I have no plans or obligations and yet it's funny that I feel late for something. Oh, what an adventure this is. I feel safe and fully alive. This is truly incredible. All is good, love to all. Thankfulness!
