I smoked DMT for the first time in my life, last night. 20 years old.

I'd like to provide some sort of backstory before I even remotely attempt to describe last nights' events. The only psychedelic experience I've ever had was a tab of LSD last year. Felt like I was in a loop, but I was okay. I was in a positive natural environment, stars looked absolutely beautiful. The trees were swirling in beautiful motions. It felt like forever, but I was able to get home and sleep easily after about 4 hours of tripping. That's the only experience I've had with a psychedelic and I couldn't tell you the amount of LSD I took because I'm really not familiar with dosages etc. Was a little tab.

Anyway, the LSD didn't really show me things? It didn't change things infront of my eyes (I was never expecting it too), everything just seemed more beautiful. I was smoking pot on it too so It was just enhanced. Apologise for the LSD rant I know everyones only here for the DMT trip but I'm still trying to come to terms with what had happened.

I've done my research. I've known about this drug for about 4 years, was always interested in its effects, but I really had no clue what the fuck was going on back then. Recently, over the last 6 months I have become so fascinated with DMT. I've read every possible post, watched every documentary, everything explaining what this does and what it can do. I always told myself I will not go looking for the drug, I will allow it to find me if I'm truly meant to have it. Since I told myself that I would just see reminders of DMT everywhere around me. In songs, billboards, everything!

My trusted friend, whom I've known for years, who didn't really know how interested I was in DMT, had messaged me 3 weeks ago telling me he got his hands on some but he didn't want to try it. I took it off his hands and let it sit in my draw for almost a month. Thinking everyday, waiting for the perfect moment. The morning I knew what would be happening tonight so I mentally prepared myself, trying to channel the negative emotions and feelings out. Trying to have a clear mind. Moments leading up to me smoking, my heart was beating RAPIDLY. I took what felt like 100 long deep breaths.

I sandwiched the DMT in a cone (gatorade billy lol). Weed, DMT, Weed. (PS: I'm not too sure how many MG it was so if someone could help me figure that out I'd be grateful. Trying to find a photo of it in my camera roll now. Anyway:

It was a mountain of a cone. I was sitting in the back left seat of the car, driver, passenger, and person next to me were all people I felt comfortable around. I set up a queue on spotify before smoking, of my favourite songs, so when I would be blasting off, the last bit of reality I would clench on too would be music. I was nervous & I stated aloud: "I respect the drug, I respect the experience it may grant me, positive or negative. My intention is to learn more about myself & why I am the way I am." And then I smoked the whole cone. No 3 hits, everything in one. I held it in for 15 seconds.

Each second of the 15 seconds, I became aware. I wish words could truly describe the feeling. I felt my pineal gland open. I felt my third eye open. I was looking around the car in complete awe. Looked outside the window and the fences were recreating themselves and looked perfect. The open-eyed visuals were not as intense. When I closed my eyes, I literally felt a third eye open like genuinely in the space between my eyebrows. I was travelling at lightspeed. Red creatures were forming and changing.. I literally cannot describe it. No earthly words can describe it. I was in a tunnel and I could feel them wanting me to head towards the portal of white light which was so close yet so far. I needed more DMT but that was all that there was. I believe now, that I was in the waiting room. But I kept opening my eyes? I was completely conscious and speaking to my friends about what was happening. But i had an urge to keep my eyes shut and enjoy the ride, but I kept opening my eyes!! In a sense I feel this was my ego clinging onto life.

The very first seconds of a heart attack, the heart strain. I had that feeling throughout the entire trip, post trip, and even now a day later. I could feel my heart beating at rates I don't believe are possible lol.. I asked my friend to please check my heartbeat as I was scared, but he told me it's just a little above normal, which calmed me down. I now thing this was me literally having to die to experience them. I couldn't let go. I didn't know how. But I felt so at peace & so aware of the now. I was everything, and everything was me. There was no specific time, I was time. I didn't see any of the typical egyptian art that many people do see. It was more rushing through actual space itself. Waves of light flashing by me. Perfectly synchronised colours everchanging. I am a believer in God and I know many of you guys might not but this was spiritual for me. At one point during the trip, I uttered the words "Thank you, Jesus". At that moment everything felt so unconditional. All the love. It felt like my consciousness had elevated, soul transcended. They showed me their world, they showed me that I have an infinitely finite understanding. I apologise if this makes no sense because I'm still trying to come to terms with it.

I am certainly aware that I did not breakthrough, but had a taste of what was waiting for me. I feel more aware of everything around me, like it's a second-nature that was given to me last night. All my surroundings, I can listen to music and listen to a conversation that's happening away from me while texting on my phone like I just understand everything that's going on around me.

I feel like this was a positive experience and all the 'training' and 'research' definitely meant absolutely nothing the second I took the hit. It was a very personal experience and I really would like to try it again, but I want to wait and try to figure out what last night's trip meant. I don't know. I'm sorry for rambling on, I'm just a 20 year old trying to figure out what to do in life. Thank you for reading.