Mind you and go into this knowing this is morning after thoughts. Im so obsessed with being self sufficient that i am terrified of asking for help or telling what i want or don't sometimes, so much i don't even know what l want sometimes. Im so terrified of saying anything because anything but positive reaction can send me spiralling in self hatred paranoia and anger. Im obsessed with making sure people are happy with me because i can't stand myself. Im still standing as a placeholder for my...