The Wrong DMT

CuriousCannabisseur — Wed, 21 Sep 2022 07:39:43 +0000

I’m fairly sure I took a (much too large) dose of 5-MeO-DMT with the assumption it was N,N-DMT.

I must begin by stating that my adulthood, I have consistently found healing and growth through psychedelic and sacred medicines. I firmly believe these experiences continue to cultivate my ability to embody love and grace as a state of being/energy. This had played an instrumental role in healing and managing my depression, anxiety and my nuerodivergent nature.

About two months ago, I found myself in (what I’d best describe as) a possible mid life crisis. I felt the SPIRIT molecule calling me so I sought out a couple fellow psychonaust to help me acquire my gold dust. I had been working my way into proper dosing/technique with a friend that synthesized his own. Around the time I felt ready to “go for it” he left for a lengthy trip overseas so I acquired some from another trusted source. I used my Elrich reagent and began my journey. It wasn’t until a few days after I inhaled that one massive and hearty rip from my e-nail, that I realize what had likely happened.

I knew immediately entering this trip that something wasn’t right AT ALL and it was terrifying. Instead of the bright and diverse prismatic rainbows and visions I was used to, I saw very bright white light and nothing, maybe some semblance of the 4 elememts, but for the most part, everything was almost blank.

This was extremely unsettling to me since is was so different than all my previous experiences. It had also tasted slightly different (athough that may have been my imagination). It’s a bit fuzzy (I tried not to think about it too too much the following few days), but I completely lost control of my body and my visuals became somewhat like a record skip or a glitch on repeat. I attempted to steady myself and pull out of this plunge, but my efforts were in vain.

The next thing I remember, there is was this crushing realization that I had gone past the point of no return. I had broken my psyche beyond repair and everything I thought I had known was no longer. Everything was gone and it was only me left with the sense that no one and nothing would ever come or join me again. I was SURE I’d be stuck there forever.

Despite this, I fought TREMENDOUSLY to return to my body. I called upon everything in me. Everything that made me, everyone that ever loved me, all the love and sacrifice that brought me to this point in my life. I channeled all that I was/am/will be to help get me back physically safe, if not mentally.

I remember somehow reassuring myself and speaking “truths” over my soul. The “truth” that brought the most comfort to me was “Change is the only constant”… because that’s a LAW right? I also felt the the notion that “nothing is ever wasted” and “you have infinite chances to get (it?) right?”…

When I did finally force this crash landing, I struggled to reconnect me with my body. It was more like I was driving a power ranger machine, but eventually, I merged back into my physical self. I didn’t know what to think or feel and pushed it out of my mind the following 2 or 3 day until I was ready to evaluate…. whhhatttever the fuckkkk? I’m still not really sure what to do with/expect from this experience.

After doing some research, I believe that this was 5-MeO-DMT and not N,N-DMT I took that day. I found this more terrifying as I have asthma and I’m prescribed a very low dose of Prozac daily. I was alone, live alone, and had informed no one of my plans. I know this may sound reckless, but over the years, I’ve found the most healing to enter these states alone. And am very open about my beliefs with friends and family, and I have been in weekly/bi-weekly therapy for over half a decade. Im not reckless with my dosing, preparation, and respect of these substances. I have spent 15 to 20 years learning and exploring my own psyche and consciousness.

Up until this point I only ever thought of DMT as N,N-DMT, and heard of toad venom, but was never interested in that particular psychedelic. I have since ordered Hoffman and Mecke for any future use.

Are my question is, what is that an ego death? Was that a bad trip? Should I talk to my doctor and or therapist about this? I have also read that you can experience pretty serious flashbacks, is this something I should be concerned about? I really don’t know where to turn to ask these questions so any loving and knowledgeable advice would be appreciated. I am a bit more emotionally fragile right now as this obviously opened up some thing, so please refrain from any shitty condescending comments or shaming.

THANK YOU fellow travelers!

Laughter is Medicine

Andres Forzan — Thu, 14 Jul 2022 06:50:24 +0000

I could not stop laughing this Monday when I smoked 5-MeoDMT. Life is a joke. You’re not supposed to take it so seriously. Laughed so hard that all I felt was bliss, I could only feel my bliss body ‘Anandamaya Kosha’. The sun was directly in my face, I could feel the light of The Lord shining through me. I was laughing and crying, rolling all over the pine leaves. All in front of a beautiful green lake, full of life, full of prana. Extremely grateful with God for this blessing. This is the trip I’ve enjoyed the most on Bufo. This molecule is a gift from Krishna to humanity. Let’s enjoy life, laughing and dancing while we sing the holy names of The Supreme Personality of Godhead. May this be for the benefit of all sentient beings! God bless The Sacred Toad!

Fuck psychonaut haters

misslivmoon — Sat, 28 May 2022 13:42:41 +0000

I'm surrounded by them for life ever since I fell in love with Dimitri & Miss Molly. What the fuck? I started in 2017. Did a dmt trip last night. Felt amazing. But I came back to reality & seems like people who think they're human (mainly family) think they know me. I'm a psychonaut for life. Fuck psychedelic/psychonaut haters.... I'm a hypocrite though. I hate them. I only know this because of love. Ugh... DMT carts in the pic with a couple of MJ carts. I'm grateful.

Watched myself die

Soulvision1988 — Wed, 07 Jul 2021 16:15:11 +0000

I smoked dmt for like the 30th or more time two days ago I did some very pure amazing stuff better than I have ever had, but some very weird stuff happened in the trip. I died in front of my family and they were screaming and crying nooooo nooo nooo holding me and shaking me and I was sad to see their sadness and was trying to tell them it was ok but they couldn't hear me. I died and felt so calm and relax and I watched it all! Has anyone experienced anything like this? Then I came to and the room was the most beautiful colors and I could move them with my hands. I am just wondering what this death means I watched myself die and it was so intense. Is that an nde??

Facing The Source of DMT

AwakenedFate — Fri, 09 Apr 2021 17:59:54 +0000

Ok normally I have been posting others stuff I find of interest.. anyway I decided to load the spice and face my fears ..whoa what a realization I had... Yaldabaoth is this morphing serpents name...How do I know? I asked him mid trip.He's over my shoulder even now as I'm coming down and wants me to say he created the world and all that's in it. I told him bullshxt he doesn't now who I really am... Divine Man and I come from beyond both time and space...Crazy fxckin trip...I was in middle of a battle between this morphing egyptian God and the Inner light of my Soul. Can you say Wow!!!I don't know if I should go back and toy with him but he's lost power because our Hearts are his Kryptonite ...oh yeah he can pull a some shxt over our eyes but can't blind our Hearts if we don't let him. Some of Ya'All might know him as "Source of DMT"...and he's as smooth as lemon pie if you love him. I love him too this world is Awesome and so is everyone in it. Ya'All gotta remember who you really are and if ya can't then realize we're here temporarily so be Happy...make no mistake they will do everything try take it away from you so it's not what happens that matters but how you react...I suggest LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF. This deity thinks he tricked me into facing him but I was born for this...so I'm going back in see what other propaganda he wants to show me.Too funny my music on random and Ministry "Just one Fix" is playing...he wants this showdown daring me come back.Fxck It I'm All InFxck it This is a live DMT Trip report...so I should add this is a cosmic alien and hijacking DMT trips is how it communicates...NVM he says he is the Source of DMT...ever wonder why it's here?.. because it's his carrier.I know alot of you are taught to surrender to the "experience" and that's cool but never forget the Creator of All is within your Heart...he didn't create that so wanna know why the "Tree of Knowledge" was forbidden that's the Real Truth.I know most will never see this...it's by design this is only for those Ready.Oh yeah forgot to mention the Time is always NOW in the 4th dimension so past present future are same we're at a disadvantage because our History been tampered with and most believe that were "stoned apes" evolved monkeys but that's NOT true...their is no missing link unless ya count Wal-Mart shoppers kidding..Real talk Humans only have 46 Chromosomes all Earth Primates have a balanced 48 (24 each parent.. Humans only 23) We was nerfed at the Tower of Babel incident..more accurately our previous incarnations but even so our Hearts are ours...our perceptions nerfed (not common 6th Sense) is what it is we're here to spread the awareness...the more that become aware the better chance humanity has of avoiding War. Btw read the old testament this God has no problem killing millions..Considers it his playground our most important thing we can do is Love Each other... especially the ones piss ya off the most. THIER lost and blind can't blame them for thier ego trips it's how they have certainty in a uncertain World. Believe I have more work in this area then anyone because I used to say Fxck"em All let God sort them Out...now I gotta change because this ain't no real God he's an illusionist pulled the wool over our eyes. How da fuk they gonna make it a crime to know your own mind? World of meat puppets but you Transcend if you go within.Ok can't sleep gotta share another insight... everything that's fxcked up and traumatic in our lives was by design to push us to break out of the "norm" and seek psychodelics...these are the steps to our liberation because nobody will enter the True Realm without knowing who they Really Are.Know Thyself is the key...and no it's not the programmed world identity...It's Heart Mind and Soul Unified.Just saved you many incarnations back in this rat trap if you just try it.

5meo-dmt accessed threw meditation

howlingcat — Wed, 30 Dec 2020 16:11:50 +0000

5meo-dmt accessed threw meditation so I have never done 5meo so I truly don’t know if this was the same but I feel confident enough it was I was struggling mentally and decided to meditate I did a meditation guided to Metatron the arch angle I was doing breath work in and out rapidly I started feeling a tingling sensation in my toes and slowly moved up my body eventually I felt it in my crown chakra and that’s when it happened I was blasted off and absorbed by a white light I became one with everything my ego dissolve completely I had became one with all and nothing I was one with the the universe then I resolved a deep download and when I came back I new what to do with my life ever since I’ve been working towards my medical degree Plus ethnobotanist pharmacist chemistry and many many more degrees I’ve learned knowledge is my reason for living

iv triggered someting....

johnnyboy77 — Sun, 27 Sep 2020 16:02:33 +0000

https://dmtworld.net/social/johnnyboy77/?status-id=21468

iv triggered someting....

johnnyboy77 — Sun, 27 Sep 2020 15:58:40 +0000

https://dmtworld.net/social/johnnyboy77/?status-id=21468

First timer

leica64 — Fri, 17 Jul 2020 03:35:54 +0000

Tonight, July 16, 2020 at approximately 9:30 pm I experience my first DMT trip. a lot of geometric colored shapes. I'm trying to take the experience in. Not going to be analytical about it. Just go with it, accept it. It's a blessing, it's beautiful.

5-MeO Life Saving Ceremony

Kelly_Allen — Sat, 11 Jul 2020 16:34:36 +0000

Thanks for allowing me to join this group. Back in December of last year, I participated in a sacred medicine ceremony (5-MeO DMT / Bufo Alvarius). I have since then found Psilocybin to be extremely effective in the integration process. For anyone interested, I did record two videos, one of the backstory leading me to the calling of the 5-MeO ceremony, as well as a video describing the actual ceremony.

Here's a video sharing the backstory of why I was called to sacred medicine - https://youtu.be/8IsPC5rtn0s

And here's the link to a video describing the ceremony and my experience - https://youtu.be/H4QlEQkku0g

I hope this helps to explain why I'm a huge proponent of psychedelics in the treatment of mental health and interested in this community. I plan to make a video or videos discussing my personal experience with psilocybin healing journeys as well and will share once I do. Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Kelly

Bufo ego death

crashedfx — Mon, 15 Jun 2020 18:30:54 +0000

Well, they do say "once you break through, you'll know it". It's same with 5-Meo as it turns out. My ego death came from a very small dose, it was unexpected and sudden. Perhaps after a while medicine finally decided i was ready to see. Perhaps there was residue from previous person that didn't burn all the way through? Or maybe it was just my time to venture there. I loaded up 65mg of toad venom, in comparison to pure 5meo it's about 6mg-10mg of lab grade stuff. I planned to have "meditative amount" which i have done in the past. My friend was holding the pipe, I lit it up inhaled a lung full, and held my breath, and exhaled slowly.... What happened next i cannot describe in detail. Intensity of being ripped apart in what I can call a cosmic orgasm can't be put into words. I faintly remember screaming on top of my lungs as i was taken over by something so powerful that i never experienced before. Next thing that my mind recorded was me (or whatever was left of me), landing into pure Nirvana. Something that was very unusual for 5meo was very visually colorful circular mandala that was universe itself, God, Buddha, Brahman, Tao.... Although i saw it visually, i also knew that it was me, we were not separate from each other. It was the end and beginning of all things, existing at same time in perfect harmony. There was no birth and no death, there was no questions and no answers, there was nothing waiting to be accomplished, it was moving and yet standing still, it was darkness yet made of pure light... It was an experience of great perfection. I was there for 1 second or perhaps a 1000 years, but eventually my body and my speech started manifesting. My friend who was watching my body while i was away, said first whisper out of my mouth was "This is Nirvana... Without a doubt, end and beginning of all things." I started hearing the guiding bell my friend was playing and opened my eyes. Whole room was still vibrating, but i had my bearings. I sat and kept whispering: "My god, my god, my god... Life will never be same again. Omg, please stay, please stay with me, please stay with me forever". My friend sat next to me and gave me a firm hug. I walked outside, there was a girl whom i sent off "into Nirvana" before i went there myself. I walked up to her gave her a hug, then once we separated from a long embrace, we just looked at each other smiling. We were both thinking "I see you and i know that you know". There was nothing to be said to relay that. I went around back yard hugging all my other friends that did not partake in the ceremony that day, and whispered to every single one "thank you for existing, this world is a bit brighter because you are in it". Some cried, i cried, Sun rays were covering all of us, air smelled like fresh cut grass, and everything just was. It was a first time i experienced what it means to be truly happy. I know to people who have not experienced such, this story will not mean as much and perhaps might even sound ridiculous. But I believe every person must experience this during their lifetime and i will weep for those that never will.

First level 2 dmt tunnel/sort of breakthrough?

Rune — Mon, 23 Dec 2019 04:30:19 +0000

Smoked around 2.30am 23/12/19 I just came back from what felt like years. - The world shifted super fast from the middle of holding hit number one. I had no choice but to close my eyes and take a few seconds to realise what I was doing. I was watching a space/galaxy/nebula gallery video on YouTube which grew out of my TV with doubled vision. Extending out and brightening. The second hit I only just remember. It was extremely difficult to figure out whether it was working, although now I can gaurantee it most definitely did. - The next thing I know I'm in the middle of visuals flying past me. What felt like months had past in the blink of an eye. When I came to, everything was happening so fast. Fractals like my first trip but flashing past me. I had the memorable feeling of Rick Sanchez (from Rick and Morty) but without him actually being in any of my trip. However this could have been from watching the 'space dmt trip episode' not so long ago and my brain trying anything to grasp our normal reality. - I remember very distinct beiges and purply light brown colours in Fractal squares with circle cutouts. Inside was dark and light blue backgrounds and more fractals. They were Aztec patterned platform's, rotating slowly in the centre of my quadrupled vision. It had very rounded edges, morphing slowly with black lines running parallel to its edges. Much like the Nokia game of snake, I guess. I pinpointed something to do with an ice cream van too (non visual) which I remember but don't understand why? or what it was about? - I got a little scared at one point I must admit because I forgot how long it had been and who I was but relaxed and calmed myself. The panic, was what I guess you could call an extremely "brief moment" within the years that I now felt had passed already. I remembered though... to ride it out. Felt fine once I relaxed, it just took me by surprise. - I felt my head roll to the left side and the comfort of my warm pillow closed in against my cheek. This settled me and the warmth grew in the visuals and helped bring a sense of direction to how my trip was going. I remembered my name and told myself it was ok I didn't need to be worried or scared I'll come back at some point. - Total loss of time, reality and ego. I had 4 parallel time frames, a fifth counting this realities one (I may have had more). All happening at once, spiralling me around in a clockwise direction. Each version of me was watching incredible geometric visuals (all the same I think). Beautiful yet quite dizzying although it had like a roller-coaster type feel to it. I was spiralling down/forwards in a corkscrew fashion but my point of reference kept me upright. - There was a sense of mild discomfort just with how hard it was to cling on to any type of solid imagery. I found no beings or higher powers that I know of at this point. My music was playing so definitely couldn't hear any although I briefly thought I did at a particular point. - I remember asking myself how long had it been? The music I tried to use as an anchor point to reality on my headphones but it kept repeating sections and distorting the song, making me think it was nearly finished 100 times at least. I would say I was completely submerged into the fast tunnel one more hit and I would have had a full breakthrough of that I'm sure. - As I came back, their realm lingered around my bedroom like a second reality overlaying ours. At that moment I felt a sense of presence. I had very tall tubular figures with no limbs and spherical heads, no faces, dark black in colour, circled around me. Maybe 10 of them as if showing me I could have seen them. They were a little daunting but I knew I was safe. The trip began to calm and I had neon tube type (open eyed) visuals for another 20 minutes. By far the most incredible moment of my whole entire life. I wish I could have gone further impossible without help though. Maybe next time. - Hope you enjoyed the read. Stay safe, stay trippy ✌x

First level 1 dmt experience.

Rune — Sun, 22 Dec 2019 20:27:23 +0000

Forgive me for my long story telling. I struggle to not be so discriptive. - I had asked a friend recently if he could get some dmt and my nerves had been racing ever since. He's a good friend who is very trustworthy for trip sitting. I had never tried any form of psychedelic but had done a lot of research before investing into trying myself. I'd read Dr Rick strassmens spirit molecule books among watching lots of Joe rogan and trip reports on YouTube etc. - I'll start the story at my arrival to my friends, where him and another were sat in the front room ready to start straight away. They calmed my nerves with some good music and a nice cup of tea and some water and trip stoppers at hand (irrelevant with the timeframe of dmt). - My heart racing, I began asking questions with clammy palms. I was settled with my friends both telling me there was nothing to worry about as you stay sober during your experience and they'll start me off lightly. Fractal patterns and staying coherent. We had decided it was best for me to watch their experiences first to give me a better understanding on how long the time frame will be and how connected to reality you still are on this first level. - I waited a minute and finally dived in to take my first hit. The vape was harsh and my technique was very poor I had a very light euphoria and colour saturation brightened the pressure of the room tightened. It was very brief and nothing much had happened. I was left with a faint hue of another world behind the reality walls and the excitement for want of trying more. An hour to pass and reset our tolerance to zero and I could try again. - The clock had ticked and it was time for my second attempt. The nerves had reappeared but the excitement was far more attractive to me. - I leaned in and began the pull of the first hit. The vape smoke harsher than last and now my friend beginning to help with a lighter of his own. I coughed. The anxiety of embarrassment flooded me and I couldn't take more. My friend reassured me and helped me relax. Kicking my feet up on the foot stool he had pushed my direction. - The walls began to vibrate. Colour saturation intensified and the blanket of reality came alive with Fractal transparency. A world beyond our world showing itself with a slight push through the atoms. My field of vision expanded and my peripheral sight was sharp and distinct. The effect was very similar to the film 'limitless' when they show his visual effects as the drug hits. I could see both sides whilst looking towards the TV displaying 'A$AP Rocky - L$D' on YouTube (my choice of song). The walls suddenly burst into fractals. My friend taking notice to the bewildered expression on my face, tells me to close my eyes. The only words I could muster for my discription... "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WOW!" Both friends: "there you go, that's a proper first level hit." - Still aware of my reality and enjoying the music I accepted the visuals I was being handed by dmt. Like a vivid room of colour I am now sat in, both here and there. 3 discs of yellow/orange tone swamped my vision, shaped much like a Venn diagram. The centre of which had an impossible inward morphing shape, rotating clockwise but staying in its original position (which doesn't make sense when I read that back). The inner Fractal had smooth edges and familiarity to old nostalgia. Like a childhood cartoon you watched, except I couldn't pinpoint any specifics. Recognisable imagery would appear and disappear as fast as they came. The colour spectrum a purple and crimson opposition to the outer wheels of yellow and orange. The feeling of pure bliss and nirvana overflowing my mind. My heart picked up and the euphoria pulsed through my body with warmth. I relaxed all my muscles forcing the effect to strengthen with the acceptance of what was happening. I continued to ride out the visuals and embracing hug pleasantly. Pleased with the outcome, I became discriptive to my friends until it settled and I opened my eyes. Looking towards my friends with strong opacity and faint lucid ouras my trip fizzled out. My first level 1 dmt experience had finished but would not be my last. - Hope you enjoy the read. Stay safe, stay trippy ✌x

2nd Ayahausca Session (5g Syrian Rue + 10g Acacia Confusa)

Thirdeyevybe — Mon, 16 Sep 2019 03:33:49 +0000

The second time I drank ayahuasca it was the same dose, and I was back in my living room. This time my wife was with me from the start. The buildup was very similar as before and I found myself in the bathroom like last time. I walked back and forth from the living room to there multiple times but never reached a point of throwing up like I felt. I did experience some slight diarrhea, but with my IBS this was not unusual. I came back in the living room and we started to set up the chess board to play a game. About the time it was set up I knew it wasn't going to be happening anytime soon. She packed it back up as I went back into the bathroom with the urge to spew from both ends. As I sat on the toilet, I felt a familiar anxiety start at my toes and rise. I coached myself through breathing exercises trying to calm it. At some point while sitting there I lost myself like before, but this was different. I remember the experience as one of 2 very distinct things: either I was living this man's life, or my wife and I lived with him. Regardless, when I came to, I couldn't remember any details of what happened with him. I can only assume it wasn't long in actual time because the wife never checked in on me. As I sat there on the toilet, I started to consider the fact that on a toilet waste is supposed to be going south, not north. I pondered what I could do before the anxiety consumed me again. I felt this anxiety reach the top of my head and mushroom beyond that. Again, like last time, no visuals, but I could feel things like never before. Without truly understanding how I put both hands on this growing cloud and pushed it down the direction it was supposed to be going. I felt it fade back away until once it was out my toes again, I could move. I walked out of the bathroom feeling like a million bucks. Shortly after I returned and had some diarrhea, but it was the standard IBS type I was used to now. About this time my wife was explaining she was talking to my sister on Facebook about us not attending our niece's concert that night. We were not aware it was happening, and my wife was afraid my niece would resent us because my brother had attended. My sister explained that it was a spur of the moment thing, and even she didn't know my brother was going to be there. In the end, everyone understood, and there were no hard feelings. In my hyper aware state, I explained to me wife that although it would have been nice to be there the universe put each of us on a path that ultimately led to us having a good day. Sure, we may have missed it, but maybe if we were there Scott would not have had such a good time for example. Regardless, everything worked out for all parties involved, so there was no reason to feel bad for anything. In the middle of this talk I thought back to a conversation I had with my brother a few days prior. His son had just been born, and he told me he hopes one day he can take a picture as good as the one I took of my niece holding a snake. It wasn't until this night I felt the impact of that statement. I to this day hate taking pictures, and I don't know if that will ever change, but the simple act of taking that one picture not only gave him a beautiful memory for life it also gave him something to look forward to with his own son. The joy of this realization was again enough to cause another purge, crying. I started to look back at the pictures in my phone. I have never been a huge fan of taking them, but damn I managed to catch some good ones along the way. I found pictures one a family dog that just a week prior was shot and killed by a neighbor. We continued to cry, laugh, and everything in between as we flipped through my small collection of pictures. I realized that as someone who prides himself on technicalities, I could apply that skill to taking pictures instead of being in them. The fact I don’t like to see myself I know if an issue I still have to deal with yet, but there is no reason it should stop me from creating positive memories for not just myself but an entire family that, quite honestly, doesn’t spend much time celebrating little things. We have always just been the type that gets together for holidays, and even those end badly most the time for stupid reasons. I come from a family full of strong egos, and I am determined to break that trend. I realized that things like picture taking, or even attempting to draw which I started recently, are the building blocks I need to rediscover my imagination. One moment I still remember vividly is my wife asking when our niece's birthday was during this conversation. I was able to quickly remember that her birthday was March, but before I could even speak those words, I realized I had no idea where I was in time. It took a minute to realize it was March 2019, and I could finally process her birth date, but obviously my wife had long since moved on lol. Shortly after that I used the word cunt in a manner I no longer remember but regardless my wife is not a fan of the word. I asked her why, and for the first time she told me. I can only assume that due to my vulnerable state she felt compelled to open up for the first time about it. She explained how an ex-boyfriend abused her, and he repeatedly called her that in the act. As we reflected on it, I explained that unfortunately she has this negative attachment to the word, which triggers a bad reaction, but because I don't the word is just that - another word. I also said that thanks to this night she would now have a new more positive memory to hopefully overwrite that old one. In a crazy way I understood why shaman's drink with their patients. It was a lesson to both of us that if you put up walls around you people will do the same. The law of attraction, the secret, it was all true. Open yourself up, take down the walls, and you just might find others around you do the same. We got in the car and went to McDonalds, which I know is horrible, but it was like 2 am. I felt great, but the mental exhaustion after an aya experience is like no other. I ate a grilled chicken sandwich and went home to sleep like a baby. Amazingly enough, to this day, my IBS issues have greatly subsided. I will spare the details, and everything isn’t 100% yet, but the discomfort and loss of appetite are gone. Failing the ‘BREATHE’ test from my first experience also empowered me to quit smoking cigarettes for good including my electronic one. I have smoked marijuana for about a year, and thought it helped me, but for the first time in a long time I felt normal.

1st Ayahausca Session (5g Syrian Rue + 10g Acacia Confusa)

Thirdeyevybe — Mon, 16 Sep 2019 03:31:13 +0000

The first time I drank it I was in the living room watching the great Muppet Caper movie and I was alone to start. The Muppets have always been one of the few things I can say I purely enjoy in this world and has been that way since I was a kid. for whatever reason about 48 hours prior I had the thought to start watching the movies in chronological order. As I made it through that movie, I moved onto the Muppet Christmas carol. This movie in particular has always been an interesting topic because I generally hate all things Christmas. After about 1.5 hours or so as Gonzo narrates, I couldn't help but lock eyes with him. I felt compelled to stretch my arms out across the back of the couch and sat Indian style. I continued to lock eyes with gonzo and watched as the spirits taught scrooge his first lesson. I started to realize that my body was fading away starting with my toes. It was confusing at first but nothing bad. I knew it was starting. I decided to get up and go pee before I got comfortable again. I came back to the couch and got in the same position as before. I was trying to get back to the same body fading as before. My dogs followed me the whole time and jumped up on the couch. I started shooing them away insisting I couldn't have distractions, but then I realized if I was truly not distracted, they didn't matter so I told myself to stop. I locked eyes with gonzo and started fading away again. As the feeling of fading away reached the top of my head suddenly I realized I was inside my body almost as a ball of energy. I could move 2D within my body but could not leave it. I felt myself move out into my stretched arms and back to the center. I continued to watch the movie and found myself moving out into the living room in the sense of just being part of the room as a whole. Once this started, I lost all concept of "me". I constantly asked, "who am I?". This faded in and out of feeling like I was in the movie also. not being there, no visuals, but being "part of it". The urge to purge was creeping up on me, but at the same time I was aware of my "traveling" in and out of my body to the point I later realized I got cocky. I thought I knew how to get back there say if I needed to go pee. I started wondering though why I saw no visuals. I caught myself looking in the mirror and feeling like my pupils had a red ring around them. maybe something was wrong. maybe that's why I can’t see anything. oh no....here it goes. the anxiety is now spiraling. what is happening and should it be? why don't I see anything yet? I started to panic as the anxiety bubbled up, and I woke my wife up. I went back to the bathroom to force myself to purge since it wasn't happening. another big mistake. I sat on the floor, waiting for it to come, but it wasn't. As I sat there, I lost myself again, but this time it was just my mind not my body. I very distinctly remember thinking I might never recover from this brain damage. As I was panicking one of my dogs came in the room and say with me. As she licked me in the face, I realized I was well aware that it was my dog, and she was licking my face, but I had no clue who I was. This went on for what felt like forever until I had this sudden urge to drink water, so I downed 6 red solo cups worth. Next an urge for food hit me so my wife grabbed a piece of bread and I ate half a piece and was satisfied. Next thing I know a voice, which I cannot say was male or female, screamed at me in the sternest way imaginable "BREATH" and I couldn't. I later felt like these were some sort of trial, which I attribute to my recent battles with being overweight and alcohol abuse. I conquered my alcohol addiction and had greatly improved my diet through a forced IBS diagnosis, before this aya experience. I continued to attempt to breath but no matter what I did I couldn't. the panic reached a peak of shorts, and next thing you know I had an overwhelming urge to close my eyes. As I started to however, I felt my whole world fade away. Not in the way I felt before, traveling within my body, the room, and the movie. This was dying. No starting at the toes and building, simply fading away. I fought it for about 15 minutes I later found out. I laid on the couch sure this was it. I asked my wife to check my pulse, and she said it was fine. She checked my blood pressure and it too was fine. Suddenly I started to doubt my dying. I was able to close my eyes now, but the feeling of death was still lingering. I would reopen my eyes, evaluate the time that had passed, and realized each time I did this was only 2-3 minutes of a full 6-hour journey. I described these few minutes as "universes" within the journey, and I was passing through them. About that time, I heard the wind chimes on the front porch, and my death instantaneously ended. I laughed and cried as I remembered moving into this house and how I almost threw the wind chime away. It was rusting, half broken, but my wife insisted we hang it up anyway. Ironically in my most desperate moment this seemingly worthless object just saved my life. I cried in amazement. I suddenly realized this was all a result of the intense pressure I put on myself, and at the end of the day the only thing that should matter, is something I never had growing up, a home. I didn't realize it at the time, but this has been a lingering thought I have never acknowledged. I first realized it months prior, the first time I heard Lukas Graham's "Mama Said", but even then, it didn't sink in. I realized I have a horror problem with "triggers" that run very deep in my family. I thought back to all the years of family drama, and hurtful things my mother has done. She has always been very self-centered, and quite frankly abusive. One of my fondest memories is of her at about 10 putting my stuff out in the front yard and making me wait for dad to come get me. I was told don't ever call, write, and if I see her on the street her name is Donna. While I truly feel I have gotten past that, the thought was never lost on me. To this day she is as bitter as she was then. I realized I have no imagination. I cried as I told my wife I bought a notebook to start notating my DMT research, but the only thing I had managed to write was the steps of how to visualize something. I found it ironic in the end that I tried so hard to see visuals, and never did, but I felt more than I could have ever imagined. My wife and I talked about our marriage, and the troubles we have had, and I knew she was not the problem. I knew I could see a future between us, but that we would both need to work on ourselves. We talk for a while longer, ate some food, and had a great night’s sleep. In summary, it was worth every minute of it. I am more comfortable with myself as a whole and have a new outlook on many aspects of life. It was also made very clear to me that it is okay to just work on "it", whatever that is, and not obsess over the destination. Enjoy the journey. As I was coming down at one point, I could hear the wind chimes out front, and it was confirmation to me that it was not something made up. It was a very real sound that, if I allowed myself to be aware of it, could be heard anytime. Unfortunately, we are too good at distracting ourselves. I truly believe that the same voice that screamed at me to breathe let me lay there and die until I had enough.

Categories

The Wrong DMT

Laughter is Medicine

Fuck psychonaut haters

Watched myself die

Facing The Source of DMT

5meo-dmt accessed threw meditation

iv triggered someting....

iv triggered someting....

First timer

5-MeO Life Saving Ceremony

Bufo ego death

First level 2 dmt tunnel/sort of breakthrough?

First level 1 dmt experience.

2nd Ayahausca Session (5g Syrian Rue + 10g Acacia Confusa)

1st Ayahausca Session (5g Syrian Rue + 10g Acacia Confusa)