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“All things are your mother. Remaining aware, You keep your word, We meet in the heart And are always connected, Mother you are in me. “ I wrote the above immediately after uncossing my legs after the meditation described deep within the passage below. I was holding dear old Mums hand in the courtyard of her nursing home in my hometown of Perth, Australia I was breathing slowly and deeply, focussed on my heart, utilizing the heart coherence technique to remain centered there. Later I’d realize that even in her late stages of dementia it was possible to bypass the failing brain and connect to her hearts innate wisdom, simultaneously uniting with my heart which opened to door to a dimension that melted the egoic barriers that create the necessary illusion of separateness. I asked mum how she was and she smiled, with the gentlest of gazes, her eyes elongated and oceanically compassionate, like in the pictures you see of Tibetan bodhisatva’s. Slowly and mindfully she said “I’m so very glad, because you are near me”. I guess I lost my focus as my reply came from my brain, me trying to be smart, trying to give her a teaching that would help her be happy when I or another of my siblings was not there to remind her she’s is loved. I suppose I was trying to assuage my guilt at not devoting more time to caring for this woman who had literally given me life. I told her “ don’t worry mum, in our hearts we are always connected, we are always one.” She smiled again, her loving smile but now the spell broken I was residing in the “normal” consciousness of logic and discernment. I shared several of these moments with her over 10 or so visits and was beginning to get a felt sense of what I logically knew, indeed half of my DNA was her living in me. Returning to Miyazaki I became lost in a melancholic mood thinking about her spending hour on hour in her nursing home, aware that it’s not her “real” home, aware she is not near her loved ones. I was convincing myself that if I believed that society was to blame for the necessity to outsource the care of our old, then I be the change I wanted to see in the world. Dear old Ghandi ! I went so far as to tell my beautiful wife who hearing desire to move to Perth to care for her full time told me resolutely she’d support me on anything I felt needed to do. Needless to say such a decision was extremely complex and would change the entire trajectory of our lives. Just a few a few of the difficulties would be where we’d live, visa status(being a Japanese national) how I’d make a living in Perth, the dynamics of my siblings … For a full day I was mulling over the possibility in mind, I was becoming more convinced it was the right thing to do and regardless of the sacrifice of our free and luxurious lifestyle doing the right thing is something neither of us could possibly regret. Wisely as ever Atsuko made it clear that once the decision was made resolution in the face of stresses I’d never dreamed of would be an absolute minimum should we commit to this act of filial piety. During the following mornings meditation I was inspired to endeavor to feel into the DNA gifted me by my mother. As I brought her to mind I could interconnect with her immense artistic sense, her rich and powerful singing voice in particular became visceral. I felt a shift in my rather concrete and practical way of showing my indebtedness to the old wolf (as shed sometimes referred to herself) and thought I might best serve her highest wishes by expressing my self through song, lost in imagination I concluded, surely I could go beyond the block of having as a 10 year old been told I was tone deaf and, with coaching, access the hidden talent of song my matriarch was endowed with. In a state of reverie I could see I could serve Mum by , as she used to tell me “Make you use of the resources at hand”. A very wise looking dualistic escape from my dilemma! Atsuko my highly enlightened and devoted partner made it clear to me my vacillating between ways to satisfy my need to care for my mother was indicative of a less than mature emotion! Come the following weekend and we are at sublime retreat of ours, deep in an awesome and pristine gorge, a refurbished school that we were lucky enough to have completely to our selves. As Atsuko was taking a nap, I had a sublimely relaxing time in the large communal bath. I’d gone outside to wait for a 6 pm dinner that the local ladies that run the place were preparing (it was an exquisitely displayed array of locally sourced vegetables, mushrooms, chicken, soup… like only a Japanese grandma could make) Anyway I digress, it was raining quite heavily, so I found a spot under the awning of the school to meditate. Before me was a cherry tree, scattered below was a pink carpet of petals , the branches still in half bloom while the neon green of new leaves seemed all the more iridescent amongst the hanging fog that hung over the valley. Sitting eyes wide open, the white noise of rivers on both sides of the grassed sports ground before me provided the ideal meditation track. As my gaze relaxed , going into the heart coherence with a humming breath that helps me go deeper quicker, the branches of the tree revealed their fractal nature. As my mind gave way to the realm of the heart I recalled the Buddhist technique of seeing everyone/everything as one’s mother. The theory is that as we’ve had countless rebirths, at some point every being, every soul, I see it as every molecule was our mother or part of our mother, indeed we have also been the mother of all things at some stage. The seed the teachings had planted decades before was taking root and starting to sprout. I invoked the reiki symbol for distant healing to go beyond time and space and connect with mum. As I intoned the mantra attached to the symbol “Honshazeshonen” I experienced that indeed we are not separate. I saw that by acting in such a way I was contributing to mums sense of separation. I knew in every cell of my being, in every cell of all beings that we all embody this divine mother’s quality. The essences of creativity, receptivity, protection, loving care, undying love, devotion, courage, strength and nurturing seemed to rise up like a mighty trunk with branches reaching up to the infinite in full bloom! The pink of the blossoms washed over me with the incredible softness they manifest and the deepest understanding of what love is, what a mother is, what that Buddhist concept was pointing bore fruit. I was filled with love, I knew the only way that I could really alleviate my mother’s suffering was to live the words I’d spoken to her just a week or so previous. I knew that the only way to possibly begin to truly alleviate my own suffering in fact all beings suffering would require me to begin to truly embody the truth that we are all interconnected, that we are all one in the dimension of love, that in our hearts the barriers of time, space, culture , language, gender , nationality and personality are utterly dissolved. As I recounted this Satori to Atsuko over dinner I wept with joy. I could see her through the lens of a child’s adoration for mother who means life itself, the lady who served was transformed and the meal became a fabulous banquet representing mothers milk, life nurturing goodness flavored with unconditional love. As I write this in the bath again the following morning I dare say there been a real shift in the most fundamental way in which I view the world, gratitude and love are no longer just concepts but qualities that with mindful attention it’s my duty to bring forth with every breath. Resolution is born from conviction, conviction from revelation, waver as I may I feel empowered to walk my talk and live as though indeed we are one.