First time 54mg dmt omg

I don't know how to say this or describe it but here we go. I had been searching for this for almost 7 years. I watched a ton of trip reports and thought I was ready but HOLY SHIT how did I miss the part where everyone talks about the OVERWHELMING ENERGY I FELT!!! A thousand lifetimes couldn't of prepared me for this. I took three giant hits from the vape but I can't remember the last two because before I exhaled the first one ZOOOOOOMMMMM I was gone. Let me go back some before this next part. I'm almost in tears writing this but many times in my life I have been angry at God/the light/ the creator but I will call it the creator for now for thinking that he has abandon me and i have always been afraid of being alone in this life. So i have said offensive things to the creator. Well needless to say I got taught a invaluable lesson when I was in there. Basically I came face to face with our beautiful creator and had to be sent to the black void and felt what it was like to be truly alone and was rescued by the creator and was made to feel that I have never and will never be alone, and how could I be alone when I go through no experience without the creator with me and me at the same time. Everything that exists is from the light and is the light at the same time. But before I could be apart of God/Creator I had to die or be stripped of everything that was me and I fought for a long time I was extremely terrified. I can't stress enough how terrified I was EXTREMELY PEOPLE EXTREMELY!!!!! I got to see myself as I truly am which was extremely hard. I was crying so hard I was apologizing to the creator and myself if that makes any sense. I was not prepared for the ego death. At one point I couldn't remember who or what I was! It was trying to tell me a thousand lifetimes ago I used to be something else, I swear I was thinking what could I of been so long ago I don't know what I am at this point but part of the light he knew I couldn't understand so the light would let me come back just long enough to get comfort from my sitter which by the way took so good care of me. I will see my sitter different forever. There is alot more but this thing keeps messing up when I'm typing. If yall want to know more let me know and I will finish. Just know that I'm changed forever and it's all I can think about!!! Let me know if y'all want more. I'm just a normal person that went through the most powerful experience possible . I'm humbled in the most profound way possible!!!