A never ending spiral

Last September, I ate a 5.5 dose of Mazatapec variety (cubensis). Before this trip I had probably tripped enough times (on mushrooms) to count on both hands. Anyways, the trip took abnormally long to start, like an hour and a half - two hours, but when it kicked in it came on fast. A lot of details are blurry before the mayhem began, but I know I was smoking A LOT of weed beforehand. I started doing some yoga poses because yoga and mushrooms is the shit, but 10 minutes into it I started feeling out of touch with my body. It got to the point where I couldn’t discern direction or my bodies placement. It was unsettling so I stood up, and I’d look in front of me, only to realize I was looking to the side, I then started 360 visuals. I started seeing grid-like underlaying in my living room, and ascending shapes (not sure how else to explain it). I started panicking because it came on so fast before i could even process what was going on. I then walked into my bedroom and woke up my wife quietly because our baby was asleep in the same room. I told her I was having a hard time, still managing to keep it together and remain whispering. We came out into the living room and I tried to explain to her what was going on, then the loops started. I began acting irrationally, not sure of when and where I was. I felt apprehensive like I needed to go outside, so I’d get up to head out back and then forget why I got up, so I’d walk back to the couch. This kept happening over and over, apprehension and confusion. I began sobbing cause I really felt like I had knocked something loose in my brain and was going insane permanently. Agony, apprehension and confusion ensued for another hour and a half or two hours. I was in fetal position, sobbing and hyperventilating. Finally my wife made me get in the shower. The water was cold and when I got in it shocked my system so I let out a loud gasp and when I got out I was shivering violently. I finally got back in bed and warmed up; and the loops finally stopped. It’s taken me almost 6 months but I finally realized the lesson of the trip. Vulnerability, humility, letting go of control. This to me was a pretty extreme trip, but I was holding on so tightly to my sense of “emotional hardness” and “toughness” that it took basically being the mushrooms bitch to have an impact on me. Best trip of my life, and most transformative, hands down. Thanks for listening, this is my first post.