Taking seven dried grams trip report “athiest goes agnostic”

Hello, I’d like to start off by saying I’ve always thought of myself as somewhat of an atheist. Psychedelics were becoming an important part of my life. The experiences were beyond beautiful. The complexity of some of the structures and archetypes filled me with questions. Something in me always felt it was just all in the mind. All that changed when I had an experience I could only define as mystical. Taking large doses of psilocybin around the 5-7 gram range was something I did around half a dozen times before this experience. But I feel this has to be the experience that most made me question reality and spirituality. Before I took my mushrooms I had read online about giving my trips intentions. I wasn’t a firm believer in psychedelics and full on mystical experiences. The experiences I had were sometimes over whelming. If it were just the sake of helping me through the experience psychologically and make things a bit easier to digest I’d try to do it. So I wrote down some questions. Question 1 was what are the secrets of the universe. Question number 2 was is there any such thing as a god or spirituality. At this point I have digested 7Gs of mushrooms. I’m starting to see the usual visual. Some of these visuals include things like fractal chains, complex objects moving in ways I couldn’t fathom. I was starting to see neon color of greens and blues in ways I can’t fully explain. It was like having a grid over my eye balls. Every surface that had any sort of nook or detail to it was now colored in with neon color. This didn’t look sloppy but looked almost like my whole room was a blue print. And all the details of the room were now shining this bright color. I was trying in my head to figure out why this was happening. Maybe it’s the brains way of pattern matching? The trip is starting to come at it’s peak. I look out my window and my mouth drops. I see what looks to be neurons or nerve cells and their transmitting information. The illusion never fades away and it’s in perfect detail. It looks completely solid I can’t even see through to the night sky at this point. I soon look a bit higher in the sky and I see a freaking humanoid sitting down and he’s as big as the whole sky. His body is made up of fractal heaven. I’m starting to see shapes and information that appear to be language like letters or hyroglifics. The letters seemed so alien but I knew they were information, my assumption was letters. This man sitting down in the sky is made of fractal beauty so complex and so impossibly complex I start to cry. “It’s so beautiful how is this possible”. I look over to the tree out my window and the tree is made of what appears to be like those Greek statues of those muscular men? Well there were dozens of these men and woman inside this tree. All moving and waving like a sea Sea anemone. No faces but they all appeared to be different. They were the same texture as the bark itself. Waving there hands and moving inside the tree but unable to escape. The branches are all filled with this blue chakra running through every big and tiny individual branch like blood running through your veins. None of these illusions at this point are going away. I look and ponder on these illusions for the rest of the trip. Even as the sun rises and I was coming down the visuals of the man and the tree did not disappear. When I was fully sober everything finally was gone. I noticed during the come down the chakra running through the trees was much slimmer through the branches. I thought to myself “why didn’t they just disappear like other my hallucinations? At this point it is after the trip. I feel it in my bones that there is this silver lining to life. I don’t need to understand it, I am just happy it is there. To this day I don’t have any specific belief. I have to admit though after this trip I am no longer an atheist. And my journey with psychedelics took a swift change. Soon after my life changed in a great way, but that’s another story.