Time to move on

So this is going to be a quick summary of a light trip i had recently with a friend.  

Last thursday i was chilling with my friend at his house and playing Smite (a great videogame by the way if you have it on playstation and want to play my gamertag is my username).  I had recieved some new genetics in the form of 4 colonized agar plate from another friend as well as 2 chocolates infused with 1 gram of high quality mush (cubensis) each.  I brought them to my friends place with the intention of just leaving one with him but once I got there and we started playing smite i thought fuck it why not go for it so we ate them on empty stomachs.  about half way through our smite joust (maybe 20 minutes in) my friend says he probably wont be able to play another game because the mush was already starting to hit and he was having trouble focusing on the game.  I was kinda bummed to hear that but then about 3 or 5 minutes later (doesnt really matter time doesnt exist anyway) Istarted feeling it too. for only a single gramof mush this experience was pretty intense.  definitely had some mild visuals and a very strong full body feeling.  After the game ended I decide i was hungry so i made some bacon which was actually pretty fucking challenging not gonna lie.  my friends stove doesnt work so i was using a shitty old hot plate and a pan that definitely was not made to be used on a hot plate.  The bacon took forever to cook but thats not the point. 
my friend had to go over to his gf's place and we left at the same time and i walked with him for a bit but one of the things i rememeber was before we left i was standing in the parking lot carrying my TV (i bring it and my playstation over to his house to play videogames old school style) and staring up at the clouds and the sunlight dancing across the whispy fluffy clouds getting all kinds of visual effects and was hit with this overwhelming sense of purity, stillness, oneness with my surroundings, and a general inner peace harmonizing with the outer world.  looking back i wonder if anyone saw me standing there wondering why this grown ass man is standing in a parkinglot staring at the sky holding a TV and not wearing a coat in 20 degree weather.  what seemed like 20 or 30 minutes of me staring at the sky and marvelling at the wonders of psilocybin and the universe was really only about 4 minutes while my friend grabbed something he forgot inside his apartment. i always loved the way mushies fuck with your sense of time.  

eventually i made my way back home only about a mile away and I was having some great and some bad thoughts.  Mainly that the world is beautiful and the universe is so vast and full of unknown wonders that humanity may never get the chance to experience let alone understand.  on the bad side of my thoughts were things like "im going no where with my life" "im an asshole for imposing my presense on my parents and living in their house for the past 3 years when i should have been getting a degree or living the normal life of a 23 year old." i eventually got home and ended up sitting in my chair for what seemed like forever contemplating my life and where its going.  
Ill spare all the details of what went on in my thoughts partially because i feel those realizations or most of them at least are just for me.  But what ill leave with is that I left this trip with a new purpose and that purpose is to make a change.  to change the things that im not comfortable with, both about my situatiuon and about myself as a person.  we all have things we need to work on within ourselves and ive been avoiding much of that for years now and distracting myself with everything from smoking an ounce of weed a day for nearly 6 months to watching the same 5 netfilx shows and animes on repeat to distract my mind from the impeding realizations of "i need to do something, to make achange."  and this trip helped me realize i shouldnt avoid that i shouldnt be afraid to change for my own improvement.

end of rant. 

thanks for reading and also im a enw member so thank you to those of you who have already welcomed me into the family and i look forward to contributing to this community for a long time!
Mushlove! :sparkling_heart::alien:

-SN0PCAT419