Mushrooms on the Mind

It was a slightly raning day, cold but warn in my heart. I just had picked up Vine from the Seattle airport and had enjoyed the ride with him back to my place. It has been a few months since we had last seen each other in person but we almost talk daily and my worries were that we would have nothing to talk about in person, which was seemingly untrue after our drive.

The weekend was packed full of adventures, some virtual reality mixed in with a session of shrooms which had been long overdue in our lives. I also had to show off my newest reading selection to Vine which included a hyper-focus topic on Jungian psychology as I had recently been guided in a sense to read into his collective works. The one thing that struck me about Jung is his attention to observation and also to his ultimate findings on the individuation process, which is in a way a unification of the self. I had for a long time now been seeing a pattern of references to this process described in many different ways through cultures and religions, and it seemed that psychedelics somehow activated many of the aspects of this process in a person. I was interested to know how this new knowledge would transform the psychedelic experience.

Vine and I sat down and talked as the tea prepped itself. I had grabbed two large handfuls of dried mushrooms into a teacup, mixed with lemon and ginger and we waited as the heat from the water transformed itself into a magical concoction. We were not there to break any records, just figured more the better and had around enough for 15 grams each.

About 45 min after drinking a few cups of our tea each we sat there listening to some music waiting for something to happen. I had developed this 6-hour long music fiasco of environmental sounds which corresponded to a typical trip which included an icaro which started going off at about 60 min, the point when we would start to peak. The sounds were too strong and I felt the onset of death bearing back at me. I had felt this feeling before when I was alone and had used Aya, and so the feeling was not as intense, but still uncomfortable. I tried to puke but I knew that would not fix it but the actions made me feel better. I felt cold but I knew I could not get warm. I wanted it to end but I knew I could not. All the same feelings I have had time and time again. I did my best just to allow it to take over and after struggling for a bit, things became manageable.

I had forgotten who I was, what hands were, and who Vine was, but I knew one truth, that all these things were me, and I was them. I could also see that the true reality that resides just past our sight, is always there all the time. That we don't go someplace, or that someplace doesn't come to us, but this is that place. I could see with my eyes opened and with them close the same geometric figure which encompassed all reality and me, a moving fractile that words can not describe, or that I could not understand. It was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.

As the 6th hour went by and I was still tripping hard we had decided to go for a walk. I felt like I was floating as my feet moved along, and my senses were hyper clear. I could hear and see things that I could not typically see, and I was finally reincorporating my sense of self. As I did that, hands, feet, body started to make sense again, and my memory of who I was was coming back. Something had changed in me however that I was sure would last a lifetime, that I knew that all that the Yogies had said, all that Jung had said, and the Buddha had said was true all along. It was all one.

I went to bed with a peace that I had known all along but had not felt for some time, I had forgotten it.