Maybe the end...

So it was a few days ago. my girlfriend and i woke up at 3 am and had a really bad morning fighting. We were up the rest of the night and didmt go back to sleep. We had done a small amount of dmt together about a month ago. It seemed to fix a lot of problems for a bit, but it was still a lot of ups and downs as we both were trying to work on ourselves, and past pain mixed with new unpleasant experiences were making it hard for us to work together and trust eachother. I was struggling a lot with my thoughts i felt like my minds was trying to pull me away from her and trying to make me want to chase things i dont actually want. I was constantly fighting with myself. And we were fighting with eachother more and more. So this day, in the after noon, I had asked her:"Have you thought about doing dmt again? I feel like it might help us"And she said that she was thinking about it. So i told her if she wants to just let me know. "No pressure"She said she wanted to do it. So i went to find my container that the dmt is stored in. It took me a few minutes; but i had located it without issue.I pulled out the scale and went to open my jar; dropping it as i took off the cap. 2 large clusters of crystals fell out and another small crystal came with them. I weighed them out and they were both about 26-27mg. I put the other small crystal back, it was about 8-10 mg (maybe i shouldve taken that one too?)Anyway this time i decided to give my girlfriend her dose first. As i didnt wanna be fumbling with the dab rig while tripping that hard. She had been preparing herself while i was getting things ready. So she took hers; hitting it until she said she couldnt take anymore. I didnt do as much as i should have to prepare myself... I finished what she had in the rig and threw mine in there. I started hitting it and kept going until i started to really feel it and it was gone. As i set down the rig amd dove under my blanket to cuddle my girlfriend it felt like i was diving into a rabbit hole. It immediately l took hold. Everything was green, much like my first dmt experience; that was around the same dose. And i felt the same uneasiness this time as well.All the sudden i see all these "strings" twisting together and making little middle fingers at the tops of all of them. I rolled away afrom my girlfriend at this time. And when i did then it felt as if my body was stripped away and i became as small as a bic lighter. The dmt forced itself into my eyes. I curled into the fetal position and began to cry.I look at my girlfriend and shes looking at me. Except all i could see was her eyes and the vague shape of her face. She was stuck in the "wall" (*i was told not to touch the "walls" in an out of body mushroom trip long ago, or id would get sucked in). I felt like i put her there. Dead to the world. Dead to herself. And never again to be the woman i fell in love with. Just some zonked out airhead or something... i destroyed her with my actions.I immediately felt that i was in the presence of something sinister and that i was being mocked. I felt like i was in hell and i brought my girlfriend there. I felt that I was fooled and that ive been fooling others. That this is where i was gonna be for eternity because of psychedelics. I thought she was never going to come back. She was enveloped in mandalas and insane geometric and fractile patterns that were bleeding into everything.I started pulling on her. Trying to bring her back. And she was coming out of the wall. i was crying and saying: "im soooooo sooooorry; im soooooo soooooooo sooooorrry"My voive was robotic and the frequency of my voice seemed to split in some way. Just mocking me more.I was shaking her (not alot... i asked haha) and everytime i did shed come back together a little bit. I just kept saying "please come back." I felt like she was going to change in a way that wasnt her. She told me she was there but i was scared... i told her that i was sorry for ever making her do this, i told her that this is not God, i told id never ask her to do it again and that i never wanted to do it for the rest of my life. I told God i was sorry and begged for His forgiveness. My gf sat above me and her eyes were so big, and there was a rainbow light inside of them. Like projector lenses. And At one point there was a big green triangle Inside her head. She was so beautiful but i just wanted it to stop and it just kept going. "This is what i wanted right?" I told her shes the one whos special. And that im a fool. I dont know how to feel because what i said about dmt. I felt certain in that moment. I know i needed this slap. She told me her trip was starting to feel bad but when i laid next to her the feeling went away and she went to a beach and was laying in a hammock with me, she said her experience was also much shorter than last time. She said she saw her third eye open and something told her she can heal people. We had very opposite trips. Hopefully im not forgetting anything. Feel free to ask any questions to clarify anything. The Picture attached was a quick sketch i did to try to get my trip out