Mushroom journey in honor of life

Recently my ,childhood and on, best friend (more of a brother) overdosed and passed on. Over the past 5 years I hadn't been able to spend time with him due to distance of traveling and also couldn't put myself around that atmosphere.. yesterday was his memorial and I couldn't attend. Feeling the weight from his passing I managed to talk my wife into letting me have some alone time. packed up a few things and hit the woods. Kellen and I shared many firsts together when it comes to drugs. Mushrooms being one of them, the trip changed both of our life's. So I felt him wanting to do it one last time together. I chewed down 2gs of makenni and 2 or so grams of Jedi mind fuck while drinking orange juice and hiking up to a little camp site/ clearing that I made a few years back. For some reason lately my stress and anxiety levels have been higher than I've ever felt. But calmness and serenity rushed through my veins and circulated to my mind. The fire was tough to get going due to recent rain, but finally was able to get it going about the time I realized I was already intoxicated. Lying there looking up at the stars my mind was flooding with memories of previous trips that Kellen and I had experienced. Then out of no where a walking noise caught my intention and to my surprise when I turned around there stood a beautiful white and brown horse. I live in horse country so its not unheard of one getting lose here or there, but for it to come right up to me sent me down a spiral of paranoid thoughts until I thought about Kellen and how he loved horses. It was him I realized. Then like a new born child I started balling. I hadn't cried like that ever. Horse never left my side until I stod up to start and pack up. I processed my emotions and was able to relax. I lost the tangible best friend and that is all. No matter what I know he is everything now and always with me.